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I am the Worst Person in The Woooooorld

Sorry for my long absence from the blag! Sometimes life gets in the way. My heart feels warm and mushy because of all of you who have been asking where I’ve been! I still can’t believe people care about anything I have to say. But this will motivate me to actually write a book one day…

It’s been a very busy week, but luckily this week will be a short one because we are closed on Good Friday! My office is hardly ever closed because we follow the stock market schedule. So, when they’re open, we’re open. Last year Good Friday fell on my birthday, so I was especially happy. I was one happy Jew.

I have lots to tell you all!

Book Review TK
I finished Rethinking Thin. I want to do an official review, but in my rush to get to work this morning I stared directly at the book and didn’t think to actually take it with me. A total brain fart! Does that ever happen to you?

I want to wait and review it when I have it in front of me for reference. I will say this — it was fascinating. I have a much clearer understanding of weight and why we are the way we are. I will get into this more later this week in my review. Stay tuned!

POM Review
I received my POM juices from POM Wonderful! I tried one and it was a bit more tart than I like things — but mixed with some Diet Sprite and Vodka, it would be the perfect refreshing drink! Vodka optional, of course. I will be saving the rest of my free bottles for warm spring/summer days when I can take it outside, sit with a book, and drink in healthiness mixed with not-so-healthiness of Sprite. Some of you would probably enjoy it along, but it is not for me in its true form. My favorite thing about it? The only ingredient is pomegranate juice! I love, love, LOVE  that. “No added sugars, preservatives, colors or cheap filler juices.”  Read about the health benefits here. Do you think I could bring it with me to a bar and asked it to be mixed with my drink?  😉

Hehe, Juice Couture.

Juice Couture

Brownie Bites
What else? Well, the Erin Baker’s Organic Brownie Bites that Missy got me for my birthday are almost all gone already! My favorite thing to do it crumble one up and mix it into my Vanilla Chobani/Bauman’s Pumpkin Butter combination. Truly the perfect breakfast. And the boy loves them too! I often see empty wrappers laying around his room.  I was sad that we flew through them so fast, since the shipping price on their website adds up — the three boxes I ordered came to $24 with shipping! But yesterday I made a discovery — THEY SELL THEM AT MY HEALTH FOOD STORE! Aaahhh! They only had the Walnut flavor which is fine by me! I bought 3 boxes and am now very happy. These little brownies are so chocolatey and great, truly the perfect snack and all 90 or 100 calories. I love brownies.

Missing My Best Friend’s Birthday  … 2 years in a row
While it seems from this blog that I have been all brownies and smiles lately, that is sadly not the case. My GI problems are getting in the way of my life. My best friend’s birthday was on Saturday, and she planned to go out to a bar in the East Village. During the day we enjoyed a spa day to celebrate (I got a Hot Stone massage) and after relaxing all day were ready to have some fun at night. It’s been a long time since I dressed up to go to a bar and I was excited! I packed a few outfits to bring to the boy’s, along with some jewelery choices and really great gold Arturo Chiang shoes that I have been looking for an excuse to wear.

Hot Stone Massage

I got to the boy’s and was relaxing before it was time to shower when the pains began. I usually get my stomach pains in the same place — high up in my stomach, right under my chest. They are usually very intense, and come and go every few minutes. This means they are spasms. Sometimes the pain is worse than others. On Saturday, they were intense. Very intense. I was crying every time I felt one come on. I couldn’t move, but I didn’t want to miss Rae’s birthday. I was hoping they would die down so I could start getting ready, since it was getting late and I needed to get in to the shower. I tried to get up, but found myself curled on another spot of the bed. I couldn’t even sit up. I got myself onto my back and it felt wrong. I felt like the pain might feel better if I was on my stomach. I tried to turn over but couldn’t move; the pain became worse when I moved. Finally, I got myself onto my stomach but it felt even worse than on my back. I tried to go onto my side and failed. I tried again a couple minutes later and was able to curl on my left side. That seemed to help, and the pain became a little less intense. I was putting off calling Rae because I really wanted to make it — I missed her birthday last year because of my stomach and didn’t want that to happen yet again.

The pain subsided a little but so I went into the shower. I’m not gonna lie — it was hard. Standing there was hard, I felt weak and the pain was coming in waves. During the shower I knew there was no way I could spend time at a bar, possibly standing, and talking to people. I couldn’t even imagine a cab ride feeling this way.  I knew what I had to do.

I got out of the shower, back into bed and told Rae I could not make it. I felt like the worst friend in the world.

I asked the boy, who is a doctor, if it is possible this is all fake. Maybe none of this is really happening. Maybe nothing is actually wrong with me and the pains aren’t there. 

He said that as a physician, he knew with 100% certainty that my problems are real. I had multiple tests that all confirmed the problems, that all pointed to the same condition. It is not normal to experience the things I experience, he said.

Maybe it’s not normal for other people, but maybe it is normal for me — this condition is MY normal. Therefore, nothing is wrong, I told him. For me, this is normal.

He said if I was born this way, then yes, it would be my normal. But I wasn’t born this way. I have an exact incident I could point to that caused all of this to happen. I can pinpoint that incident, that infection, as the time everything changed for me. It is not fake. It is real.

And I know that. I know this is real but I can’t help but question it when things go badly at inopportune times — ie, my best friend’s birthday TWO YEARS IN A ROW.

I even went so far as to point out that I was conveniently fine on my own birthday. Yet on hers, I was in excrutiating pain. He said, when you have these pains at other times, is it on days you have something special planned? No, I said. Usually it happens at work on a normal day. There you go, the boy said. It is just unfortunate chance that it happened today. It happens at times, and today was one of those times.

I know this. But I can’t stop feeling like the Worst Person In The Wooooooooorld.

Worst Person in The World

The real Worst Person in The World is Simba. I can’t take it. He is out of control and has been SO much worse lately. The HMPHs don’t stop. The hyena laughter and the cackling “kekekeke” laughter. The shouting out words and phrases in a high pitched voice. The reptition of the same sounds over and over. The huge pre-laugh WHOOP that he makes before every burst of laughter. Can’t. Take. It.

4 Way Class Comparison TK
As I’ve mentioned, Melissa at FitnessNYC gave everyone at the blogger events 2 free passes to Physique 57.  She loves it there (as does Kelly Ripa) and constantly raves about it. She also belongs to Exhale for the Core Fusion classes. I ordered the DVDs (haven’t tried them yet) and they came with a free class! In addition, my gym offers Transfigure, taught by a Core Fusion instructor and incorporates the same “Lotte Berk” ideas. I have taken Transfigure 3 times so far and am fully addicted. It really is the most comprehensive workout and I am always ready to collapse and scream in pain. Instead, I only sometimes collapse and instead of screaming in pain I let out a big sigh of pain at the end of a set.

So, as I am addicted to Transfigure (after just 3 classes), I am REALLY excited for my two upcoming Physique 57 sessions – 4/12 and 4/23, and my Core Fusion class on 4/25!  I also want to take advantage of the free class The Body offers — this class is the same idea as well. Once I have all four variations under my belt — Physique 57, The Body, Exhale Core Fusion and Transfigure I want to do a four way compare and contrast on here as a resource to anyone thinking of trying them out! I will schedule The Body as soon as I can  fit it in so I can write that exciting blog post!

By the way, if anyone told me a year ago that I would be addicted to spinning and strength classes, I would have laughed in their face. If anyone told me this five years ago, I would have spit in their face.

BAKE SALE
Please visit Meghann’s Bake Sale. All funds raised from this event will go directly to her Team in Training Efforts to support the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. And I am particularly excited because my brother’s girlfriend/practically my sister Mallories is making Mix-and-Match Nut Butter Cups! For my birthday last year, she made me these AMAZING cookie crusted Peanut Butter Cups. Best thing of my life. No joke! This uear she made me delicious Carob Almond Butter Cups which I loved as well! So go bid!

I bid on a couple items myself!

Running Outside Attempt #1
I tried running outside for the first time yesterday in Central Park. The run also had a purpose — get to my apartment on the East side from the boy’s on the West side. I immediately got an intense pain on the outside of my upper thigh. I had to stop. And today my shins are both killing me. Next time, I will try stretching first. I want to be able to run!

Although, the day before I did an OK GO Coached Run on the treadmill and they tell you to go very fast, so maybe I was just recovering from that. I hope! There is nothing more I want than to be able to run outside on beautiful spring and summer days. I did get to walk both to and from the boy’s yesterday so that was a very nice outdoors workout regardless!

My gym has this Alter G treadmill that is supposed to make you weightless and it is very easy on the joints. Maybe I should try it one day! It’s like running in a bubble.

Alter G Treadmill

Contest 
Visit What Do I Eat Now for a chance to win a great contest! It includes POM Green Iced Tea which I would LOVE to try as well as a bunch of different cookies, and me love cookies.

I have lots more to write about this week, so please check back. I will try not to fall off the face of the earth again!

Sometimes Your Words Just Hypnotize Me

This is how I currently use my Baby-Sitters Club stationary. Heather, enjoy!

Baby-Sitters Club Stationary

For those of you who didn’t know, I was an official member of the Baby-Sitters Club. My mother had to pay for me to enjoy this privelege.

Spin
Today in spin we did something I had never done before — TURNS. For example, a turn to the left entails putting your left hand on the bottom of the left side of the wheel (is that the right word for a spin bike?), place your right hand on the very top of the left side of the wheeel and twist your body to the left, looking over your left shoulder. A turn to the right is the same thing on the right side.

We did a few of these during class, and then at the end the instructor explained that people had come up to her and said that they wanted spin to be a better workout. They wanted to work more parts of their bodies. In some spin classes (like the one I  took at SoulCycle but none at my gym), the instructor will have the class bend forwards and backwards while standing for more of a workout. My instructor today said doing that is very bad for the neck and the back. She said the turns are a great way to engage your core and work more of your body.

I enjoyed them as a nice change, although I was a little off at spin today. I don’t know if something was wrong with my HRM or with me, but my heart rate was MUCH lower than it normally is in spin. It was in the 140s a lot — even when I  felt like I was working a great deal harder than that. I’m never that low during class, and it just kept dropping. Even when we did a bunch of jumps (usually my failproof way of increasing my HR) it stayed low. I felt like I was working hard, but I was distracted by the low numbers. I wonder if it is related to a new medicine I am on, or if my HRM isn’t working properly, or it it was just a fluke. At the end of the workout, it said my max HR was 190, which is a normal max for me. I did burn about 100 calories less than the HRM usually says I burn. (I know that HRM cannot accurately tell calories, since that is based on more than just heart rate, but I like that stat for comparing one workout to the next).

I’ll see what happens next time I use it and hopefully get the answer that way.

Have any of you ever done turns in your spin class?

Biggie, Biggie, Biggie, Can’t You See… Session #1
So last night I had my first hypnotherapy session. It is a program designed for IBS, which I do NOT have, but could be beneficial since it falls under the umbrella of improving gastrointestinal health.

I was nervous. After waiting in the waiting room, I was called in to the office. The psychologist has an office at the hospital where my doctor is and another one where I went last night, which is in a much more convenient location for me. The office was a big room. It had big comfy leather couches. I kind of stood there at first not knowing what to do, and the doctor told me to sit down. So I sat and we talked a little about how I have been doing. She explained again that the hypnotic state is not like on TV. If a fire engine is outside, I will hear it. If she tells me to go into the corner and stand on my head, I won’t do it if I don’t want to.

And then we began.

I’m not going to get into specifics of what was said for privacy reasons, but I will give a general overview.

I sat on the couch and the doctor told me to find a spot on the ceiling and focus on it. The ceiling was that material that isn’t smooth, it’s a lot of little nooks and crannies like an English Muffin, so I was  able to focus on a little spot. My neck hurt from craning.

The doctor began speaking and it sounded like she was reading a script. I think she was. She was talking in a funny, sing-songy voice that was meant to be soothing. It was.

There was a lot of repitition. She would say the same things over and over, but not necessarily in a row. She would come back to the same sentence, in the same tone of voice, at alternating times. It was like she was reminding me of something. She was.

I had to close my eyes. I felt uncomfortable knowing that she was watching me. Also, I don’t know if i did what she said because I was trying to be good and do what she wanted, or it really just happened on its own.

After going through some more general ideas and themes, she got into the GI part. Again, not going to give detail. And then she “woke me up” so to speak.

I have to say, I felt extremely self conscious there, which I think defeats the purpose! I tend to be awkward, so I felt like I was sitting awkwardly, holding my hands in my lap awkwardly. After craning my neck to look at the spot, and after my eyes closed, I didn’t exactly move my neck. It was still tilted back against the couch. And I kept having to swallow, which I was extremely aware of every time. I wasn’t sure if I should move it because then I might start struggling to find a position that is okay, so I left it. She noticed and said, in the voice, that I could move to be in a more comfortable position. But I didn’t because I was worried (don’t think you’re supposed to be worrying about things like this during hypnosis!) that I would not like my new position, and would have to keep trying to find one that was okay. So I stayed how I was.

Not the smartest idea, I know. Next time I will think of the most comfortable way to sit beforehand. There were some throw pillows on the couch but I don’t want to fuss over finding the best way — I need to just choose one that is all right and be done with it!

I am not sure how I feel about doing this 7 times. I will go to the next one on April 20 and see how it goes. It is expensive, but I can submit the receipts to my insurance for a bit of a reimbursement. I think actually laying out the money now is freaking me out — at least it did last night.

So that was my first hypnosis experience! I am glad I did it; I think I would have been too curious, knowing about the program, not to. And I wouldn’t have done it with just anyone — this doctor works at my gastroenterologist’s office, so it just made sense. Please contact me if you have any questions.

And here is very easy to read information on how hypnosis works!

Hypnosis - Savage Chickens

Books and Eksusize DVDs
I am really into Rethinking Thin. It is fascinating! I read about studies where thin people had to eat a lot and get fat, where fat people had to live in a hospital on 600 cal a day and get thin — and what happened to both groups after. I read about a group of already thin men who were basically forced to starve, and what happened to them psychologically as a result. I read about weight studies comparing the weight of twins who were separated at birth and a study comparing  adoptive children’s weight in relation to their biological parents and adoptive parents weight. I am a little more than halfway through and I will describe in greater detail once I am done.  More TK!

Another nonfiction book I want to read is Brain Lock. This was recommended to me by a few people, including the psychologist I saw last night. It is supposed to be extremely helpful for anyone with OCD tendencies who want to change their way of thinking. I plan to read it as my book after my book after Rethinking Thin! (Yes, I have lots of books lined up!)

Brain Lock

And DVDs lined up as well! After loving my Transfigure experience (and eagerly awaiting my next class!) I ordered Exhale Core Fusion Body Sculpt and Pilates! I really liked the way Transfigure worked my muscles and I am excited to continue working this way. I will use the DVDs every now and again when I have some time.

And, really — who wouldn’t want this tush?

Core Fusion Body Sculpt

Housewives News

What are your thoughts on Countess de Lesseps recent split from the Count? I think it showed poor class on his part to end if over email.

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