As much as I’d like a visit to Dr. House, as I truly believe him to be the only person who could get to the bottom of what is wrong with me, there is one major reason I would not be eligible to see him — aside from the fact that he is not real and there doesn’t seem to be a real diagnostician specialty.
My problem is only in one area.
If you’re going to see House, it is fine if your problem begins with one main symptom. However, a requirement of remaining his patient is that two or more of the following must happen IN ADDITION to your main cause of complaint:
 – Liver failure
 – Kidney failure
 – Heart failure
 - Other failure, believed to be a result of a Sexually Transmitted Disease
 – Vomiting blood (preferably over the side of the bed)
 – Dark, itchy rash of which there is no relief aside from tearing your own skin off
 – Family member in attendance with something to hide
 – Suspicious turkey sandwich in home refrigerator
and, thanks to Danielle, who pointed out an important one I forgot:
– One of of the above symptoms MUST occur while you are in the MRI while 2 doctors discuss something completely unrelated to your case and then cause them to run in, look at you, and then stare at each other
And of course, the above must occur only once you already under his care.
And while I have possibly have a bit of a medical mystery, I have none of the required additional problems from this list. I will have none of the problems from this list. I don’t even like turkey sandwiches.
The Nutritionist
I am so happy I went to see her. She was very helpful — and specializes in GI problems. When I used to go to my old doctor with concerns about whether I was getting adequate nutrition, he would say “You’re fine, all you need is a multivitamin.” When I went to the nutritionist today, she said “You CANNOT go on eating like this! And you’d need at least 3 multivitamins to even come close to catching up.” So glad I did this. So we are on a little trial and error program. Even though I can’t eat most vegetables, I am going to start with some that might not bother me as much as the others. I will continue to eat one vegetable for 3 days, keep a chart of how I am feeling, and then move on to the next for 3 days, and so on through the list. I am also going to try applesauce (no added sugar) and canned fruit (in its own juice) as well as Mandarin oranges.
She and my doctor prescribed an enzyme that I will take before every meal. She also recommended trying Lactaid before I eat dairy, because even though dairy doesn’t bother me, it might be worth a try.
She also had me speak to the psychologist there. I liked this because she specializes in GI disorders. We talked about how my problems have affected my life and she told me about two programs she does and how she thinks they will be beneficial to me. They sound wonderful, but unfortunately she does not take my insurance. She said that I could see her and then submit a claim to my insurance and they might pay half, but this is something I would have to really think about because I am not in the ideal financial situation right now, working at a big bank and not having much stability at this time.
She did give me the information of the psychologist who created one of the programs she uses — he is with the UNC Center for Functional GI & Motility Disorders — and told me I can check his website for a provider that might take my insurance. I checked. None do. It is true that these problems have taken a life of their own and get in the way of my daily life constantly. I would love to get a better handle on this and manage this all better. She did tell me that writing is a great way to help!
The Baby-Sitters Club
I thought Claudia and Stacey were REALLY cool. I admired their sense of style, particularly Claudia who wore outfits not unlike this:
ballet slippers
one hot pink scrunchy sock over a hot orange one on right foot, reversed order on her left
floral paisley leggins
oversized men’s white dress shirt
high ponytail on left side of head with hot pink and orange scrunchies, to match the socks of course
one large black triangle earring in right ear
small silver stud in left ear
Now girls, tell me this isn’t the coolest outfit you have ever heard about. The thing was, we really did think it was at the time. Although I must admit I wanted to be like Stacey more. I even thought her diabetes was cool. Claudia was dumb. She couldn’t spell a single word. It’s one thing not to be bright in school, not everyone is, but now when I look back on Claudia’s writing and spelling it is clear her problem went way beyond that. She couldn’t spell “how” correctly twice in the same paragraph. I remember laughing when she wrote “Who are you” when she obviously meant “how are you” in a letter to one of the other baby-sitters, but in the same letter she spelled it correctly. She couldn’t handle basic first grade words when she was supposed to be in eighth grade. Not good. Stacey, on the other hand, had REALLY cool handwriting. I also loved Mary Anne’s handwriting, and based my own script on hers.
I also joined the official fan club and still use the stationary they gave me. My roommate thought it was hilarious the first time I put up a note to the mailman on our building’s front door using it.
I also was enthralled with the secret passage in Dawn and Mary Anne’s house. I thought that was insanely cool and on many occassions would tap the walls in my apartment trying to find my own secret passageway. To a barn. In Queens.
Maybe I wasn’t much brighter than Claudia after all.
Which baby sitter did you want to be?
Sounds like a great meeting with the nutritionist! Can’t wait to see what foods you can incorporate back into your diet! I was OBSESSED with The Babysitter’s Club! I think I wanted to be Stacey but I can’t remember now! I do know that I dressed exactly like them…side ponytails and srunchies!
You forgot to mention that those one of those symptoms MUST occur while you are in the MRI while 2 doctors discuss something completely unrelated to your case and then cause them to run in, look at you, and then stare at eachother.
Also you brought up so many memories of the baby sitters club, one of the girls I was in girl scouts with is on the cover of one the books! I’m sure you can guess I was beyond jealous. it was the boy crazy book where they went to the beach. I always wanted to be Stacey, and I hated mallory.
Danielle you are so right about the MRI! SO cool about your friend, how did she get that!
Claudia! Sounds like you got a good nutritionist 🙂
Oh my gosh – loved the Baby-Sitter’s club. I wanted to be sisters with Mary Anne & Dawn – didn’t their parents get married or something. Loved Dawn and her CA blond looks. The secret passage – that was one of my favorite books! Didn’t it turn out to be part of the underground railroad? So funny – have not thought about those books in so long until recently. Reminders seem to keep popping up everywhere. 🙂 I’m so sad I never joined the Fan Club. Totally missed out on that one.
Dori, so glad your nutritionist appointment went well, and that you are going to try and incorporate more foods into your diet. I know people who take digestive enzymes. For some, it has totally changed their world. Hoping it might do the same for you! Have a good night. 🙂
Oh gosh, I totally wanted to be Kristi – bossy and tomboyish. Then Dawn came along – cool and laid back. I couldn’t decide anymore 😉
oh hands down, i wanted to be kristy. she was, like, the leader of the pack!
Have you considered that it might be lupus???
Also, I’m SO glad you got some other/much better advice about vitamins/nutrition and hopefully you can find a good psychologist…how holistic of this doctor’s office!! 🙂 Also, when you described keeping track of foods one by one for three days, I yelled out “ooh! how organized!! I wonder if she wants me to keep track of her chart!â€â€¦Matt laughed at me!
ALSO, I don’t remember who I liked the most, but I remember I was annoyed that Mallory was not more like me or just generally cooler!
I am so glad your work doesn’t block my blog!
I take enzymes before every meal! They really help. I have had GI issues all my life. I recently had an allergy test done and when I eliminated the things I was allergic to, my GI issues decreased significantly. They are almost gone!
I LOVED The Babysitters Club!!! Seeing this book cover brings back so many memories of staying up with a flashlight to read! Oh what a nerd I was! Such a cute post! I love it!
where do i start?!?!
the babysitters club- girl- I owned and read each entire book! seriously- every single one- loved them. I think I always wanted to be all of them in different times- i was tomboy-ish like kristi but I dressed like Claudia and I was laid back like Dawn. Haha. Thanks for the photo , I totally reminisced.
Nutritionist: nice recommendation!! trial and error is common but a good way of finding out what works and what doesn’t when it isn’t too “life threatening” as in it won’t give you an immediate heart attack etc. Definitely keep a journal/chart, that is really crucial in finding a better future treatment plan. I don’t fully know what was going on with the veggies/and or lactose but I do hope the enzymes are helpful!
insurance SUCKS so bad in this country and in general- i hate my health insurance I hate that it is so expensive but doesn’t even cover MRI’s UUUGHGHGH – i can definitely sympathize!
I always wanted to be claudia! I thought she was so exotic. i think she was asian, which to a little girl from a small town was like being an alien. that sounded racist, but i swear i was just niave
Kelly Turner
http://www.everygymsnightmare.com
Oh man, I loved the babysitters club! And I love your site! So glad you found mine- and thanks to Kelly for bringing two bloggers together.
I wanted to be Stacy. Is it weird that I can buy all those items at Forever 21 RIGHT NOW? And yes, I checked. Okay, you might have to buy two pairs of socks instead of having the sweet half socks that Stacy has, but it can be done.
And congrats with the nutritionist- sounds like she really met your needs, it’s like a hairstylist, so hard to find one that works with you, but once you do, it’s for life!
-BEE
http://www.BEELifestyle.com
i LOVED the baby-sitters club. i probably read every book in the series. i’m pretty sure i wanted to be mary anne — i always wanted to be the wholesome, innocent, responsible one!
i love the babysitters club! i have all my books and my daughter is starting to read them!!! i totally wanted to be Dawn! but I liked Stacy too..
sounds like you had a good appointment with the Nutritionist and you are back on the road to health!
i love house, but yes- its so far fetched!!
I loved claudia and dawn, then stacy. God, I could talk about the BSC forever. Lol.
Hahaha Dori I ran across this blog a year or two ago and spent about 4 hours reading through old posts:
http://claudiasroom.blogspot.com/
This girl is re-reading all the BSC books and discusses them. Hysterical! Enjoy…
Becky