Inflatable punching bag, anyone?

Something else that annoys me in the subway. You are at the top of the stairs and people are coming up the escalator/stairs next to you, meaning they just exited the train that you hope to enter. But you are at the TOP of the stairs. These people are nearing the TOP of the escalator. You start running, risking sweat and breathlessness and fatigue. WHY??

So you can try to get on the same train these people got off. Here’s some news for you: You’re not gonna make it! Why bother? Why exert all your energy and dart down the stairs at high speed to make a train whose doors definitely already closed! If the people are nearing the top of the escalator, you missed your chance.

And don’t you know that trains come every few minutes, more often during rush hour which is when I specifically witness this phenomenon? After a guy wearing a do-rag (must have been extra sweaty under there!) ran as fast as his little legs could take him down the stairs, I couldn’t help but notice he (obviously) missed the train. He seemed annoyed. About 4 seconds later another train pulled into the station. I walked down the stairs at a normal speed, knowing there was no way I would make that first train. We both got on the same train; him tired and worn out, me just fine. Was it worth it? To save 4 seconds of his time?

Must have been a very important 4 seconds that do-rag man can never get back. 

Stand on the right!

A friend of mine that I’ll call “Greg” told me about an experience he had on an escalator. I became so outraged by this information, I had to share:

“At work, I was taking the escalator down to the cafeteria and two ladies were standing side by side. So I asked one of them very nicely to let me pass (‘Excuse me, can i pass?’). She doesn’t step to the right, but instead moves slightly to the left so I can push my way in between. As I’m walking away, she says, ‘You know, you could always take the stairs. That is an option’. I looked back, shocked that my request elicited such a venomous response. I turned around and almost said ‘If anyone need to take the stairs it would be you and your friend . . . you can use the exercise,’ but instead I said “Thanks for the advice.’ Unreal!”

My comments: WTF??!! Of course Greg can take the stairs, but the part of the beauty of the escalator is that it allows you to get from one place to another quickly! And as most everyone knows, the general rule of thumb on escalators is “stand on the right.” In London they even have signs! There is no rule saying “Escalators for standing only.” That is ridiculous. The women are in the wrong here for not knowing the rule. And for being bitches.

Stand on the right!

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