“Stupid person to enter the english department” winner of October 25, 2005, possibly of all-time

I used to work in the English Department at Baruch College.
Boy: Can you tell me my english teacher’s office hours?
Me: We don’t have their hours, you have to ask them yourself.
Boy: Can you tell me what days she’s in?
Me: She’s in on the days you have class.
Boy: I don’t know what days I have class.
Me: You don’t know what days you have class?
Boy: Yeah, I haven’t been there in about 2 months
Me: You were probably dropped from the class
Boy: Yeah that’s why I need to speak to the teacher
Me: How am I supposed to tell you who your teacher is if you don’t know her name or what days she teaches? Check on eSims.
Boy: Oh, ok. Bye.

Ass in face

No, that is not nearly as exciting as it sounds.
Yesterday morning, on the kind of R train that looks like an E… sitting on an edge seat, next to the little railing… a tour group gets on, an older woman with a GIGANTIC ass decides to SIT DOWN on the seat railing next to me.
Her entire butt SMUSHED INTO MY FACE.
I had to strain my neck to get my head as far from her ass as possible. I couldn’t breathe — I was experiencing claustrophobia.
I need to ask: WHO SITS ON THOSE? NOT A SEAT! And really, the rudest thing i have ever seen! She put her entire ass right in my face! Obviously she saw me sitting there — she just didn’t care.
Question to all: Have you ever seen anyone do this before? Use the railing that is there to prevent people from sliding off the seat as a CHAIR?

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