Yesterday I arrived home from work to find that, once again, I was the victim of doormat theft.
Not long after Lim and I moved to our apartment in the city, we came home to find that our doomat was gone. We couldn’t believe it — who would STEAL a dirty doormat?! That thing had been through some gross weather. It was not clean. It was not even a very nice doormat. What would someone want with it?
We decided to call our landlord company. Silly, yes. But we were outraged!
They told us that we have no cause for complaint, and we are not allowed to have doormats anyway because of a fire hazard. Um. What? Illegal to wipe your feet to prevent dirt and mud from getting into the apartment? Whatever. Not important — although it raises the suspicion that it was perhaps an inside job.
We decided to turn this into a building-wide matter. We made a sign and posted it in the hallway.
 
 
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Obviously, this was facetious. No one would take it seriously. Right? Wrong.
The next day, IT WAS VANDALIZED! I forgot to take a picture of the vandalized version, but I will try to remember tonight and post it in an upcoming post.
Someone wrote on it: “You gotta be kidding.” Well, duh. Do you actually think we were offering a REWARD for a $10 doormat? It wasn’t clear to you that this was a joke? And you actually saw our sign, stopped by our door, took out a PEN, and WROTE on it? You cared that much about what we thought was an obvious joke? Not obvious to you, it seems. Wow.
Yeah, I gotta take that pic for here. I knew I had the above pictures but I didn’t even think about the vandalized one. I am so used to it. We keep the sign inside our apartment now.
Anyway.
When my brother moved to Seattle, I bought him a little going away gift. I saw this in a store and LOVED it, since his name is Matt.
How great is that! So I bought it for him and he loved it. He proudly displayed it outside his apartment door. And then one day, it was gone.
SOMEONE STOLE MATT MATT’S MAT!
In this case, it makes a LITTLE more sense than in mine. This is a funny doormat. It has a name. Mat. Clever. My doormat was blue with flowers. Makes a little less sense. But still — who does this??! WTF?!
So I ordered another one online and had it sent to my baby brother. His new apartment is at the end of his own narrow hallway, where the doormat can remain unharmed and present.
Which brings me to the third case. Last night I came home from work to find ….. dun dun dun…. my doormat MISSING. Again. This one was hideous. Brown with fall leaves. WHY? WHY WHY WHY? Why would anyone take it? And this one has lasted through a couple of winters, much more mud, dirt and rain than the last one. What on earth would anyone want with it?
I should put out my (vandalized) sign again.
And what makes this all even funnier is that since my name is Dori and my brother’s name is Matt, my mom always said she wanted to open a doormat store and call it DorMatt. I think the fact that we have both been victims of doormat theft is a sign she should do it! This way, we will have access to an unlimited supply of doormats.
In better news, Jen at PriorFatGirl is giving away custom made granola. Check it out. Also, this weekend the boy and I are taking Core Fusion Sport at Exhale. It was voted Best Guy-Friendly Gym Class at New York Magazine. Here is the class description:
Core Fusion® Sport is a total body workout that is designed to help you improve your performance in sports while reducing your risk of sports related injuries. Using a combination of lateral and twisting movements, this barreless one-hour class will chisel and firm your arms, shoulders, legs and butt while focusing on your core – the center of your strength – plus increase your aerobic capacity.
Very excited! Will review next week.
And finally, my last BIG NEWS of the day — I just signed up to run a 5K! I never did this before! It is the 2009 Wall Street Run and Heart Walk.
The Start! Wall Street Run & Heart Walk is a 5K (3.1 mile) competitive run and non-competitive walk to raise awareness and funds to support the American Heart Association’s mission to build healthier lives free of cardiovascular diseases and stroke – the nation’s No. 1 and No. 3 killers
I registered through my company. It starts and ends where I work. I signed up last year to do the walk but it was a gross rainy day, so I sat out. This year, I plan to run. Please sign up if you want to join!
24 comments on Doormat Theft Is No Laughing Matter
5Pingbacks & Trackbacks on Doormat Theft Is No Laughing Matter
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[…] Contest 1:Â Related to my doormat theft story […]
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[…] that doormat theft is somehwat of a common occurence in my family. I myself have been a victim of doormat theft twice. I have also been a victim of doormat reward sign vandalism. Sad but true. Doormat theft, as I […]
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[…] actually being able to run outside so I can do it all spring and summer — and participate in my first 5k! So now that I know I can do 20 minutes, I hope that next time I can run for 30! I hope to try […]
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[…] I am being smart this time. I am not leaving it out there to get taken again! I moved the doormat to right inside my apartment. Above it on the left you can see our vandalized […]
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[…] recently wrote about how excited I was that I signed up for my first 5k – the 2009 Wall Street Run and Heart Walk. […]
Olga
April 14, 2009 at 10:08 am (16 years ago)I once went swimming at a pond nearby my college house and someone stole my slippers…but left the $50 all-cotton, huge ass towel…Those slippers cost like 2 dollars but they were my favorite!
Danielle
April 14, 2009 at 10:20 am (16 years ago)Why would anyone steal a doormat? I love your sign you made and I love that some idiot vandalizied it!
Missy
April 14, 2009 at 10:34 am (16 years ago)You should definitely put out another sign and see if it gets vandalized again! So crazy! I really want to come to Core Fusion Sport although I am a little scared! I will sign up for the 5K later today too! I would love to try to run the whole thing but no clue if I would be able to!! At least we will have free wine to run for again!
Jen, a priorfatgirl
April 14, 2009 at 11:43 am (16 years ago)are you flippin’ kidding me? stealing a doormat? We should scroll through ebay to see if someone is flipping doormats for a profit! Maybe they know your going to be famous one day so they are going to save it until you publish your book, then it will show up on ebay as “the doormat of Dori, yours for $3,248!
Mariposa
April 14, 2009 at 1:13 pm (16 years ago)i cant believe people would steal a doormat. maybe the next one you should glue down to the floor. or personalize it with your name and apartment number on it!!!!
OY people are so stupid!!!
Melissa (fitnessnyc)
April 14, 2009 at 3:25 pm (16 years ago)That’s hilarious! I know you guys will love sport. There was a couple in my last sport class, and it was fabulous. The guy actually apologized for swearing at the end of the class. I said shit at least three times! I never swear in classes.
elise
April 14, 2009 at 4:26 pm (16 years ago)seriously! seriously. wow. wtf is wrong with people!
matthew
April 14, 2009 at 7:48 pm (16 years ago)We should start that store!
Krissie
April 14, 2009 at 8:08 pm (16 years ago)I am a friend of Sara (EatFabNYC) and wanted to check out your blog! Love it! Your doormat story reminds me of a vandal story of my own. Back in college, my boyfriend and I saw a car magnet shaped like the ribbons people stick on their cars that said, “Support Farting.” If you knew him, this FITS HIM PERFECTLY. We lived in West Philly and it was on his car for months and months. 2 days after we move to Manayunk (in Philly) which is considered a safer area, it was STOLEN! I mean, who steals a car magnet? Or a doormat for that matter?
One Gillian Reasons
April 14, 2009 at 8:25 pm (16 years ago)Sorry to hear about the missing doormats…so crazy!
Im not running the Wall Street Race, but I signed up for the JPMorganChase Corporate Challenge in Central Park?!?
Hangry Pants
April 15, 2009 at 9:34 am (16 years ago)People are ridiculous! Yours was definitely an inside job!
You will have fun with the 5K!
kristisummer
April 15, 2009 at 9:41 pm (16 years ago)you are too funny. between this and the crazy spin experience you have had no luck this week 🙂
bhealthier
April 17, 2009 at 8:59 am (16 years ago)ah! I love this story, its hilarious!
CocoMatsNMoredotcom
April 17, 2009 at 9:48 am (16 years ago)You won’t believe the number of people who order doormats from us saying their mat got stolen! Almost once a week we get a call from a doormat theft victim like yourself. I think you should get one of our ‘Oh Shit Not You Again’ doormats to give the perp a message!
roberto
April 17, 2009 at 8:46 pm (16 years ago)when your doormat was stolen, were there others on your floor? if not, could it be cleaning people who are getting rid of it – maybe because they see it dirty? yes, a bit rude, but still possible 🙂
btw, i keep my doormat inside my apartment and wipe my shoes when i enter my apartment – and i wash my doormat.
Demarcus Jackson
December 28, 2009 at 10:29 pm (15 years ago)I was a victim of doormat theft today. This is the first time. I laughed it off at first, but then I became angry. I know it is just a doormat, but I spent money on that mat and it is my mat. No one has the right to just steal your property…I don’t care how seemingly insignificant that property may be.
Andy
March 6, 2013 at 5:15 pm (12 years ago)i know what happened to the doormats , I must admit..and I know why the reason but cannot tell you in public place..
orthotox
November 9, 2014 at 3:45 am (10 years ago)Actually, it’s more common than one would think. I just bought an item with a Christmas theme on it but I’m wary of putting it out in this co-op because others have reported theft of theirs. First I’m going to devise some way of securing it, possibly with guy wire and fasteners. Until then it’s staying inside the door where it’ll be just as serviceable.
kenny Y.
May 10, 2016 at 12:02 pm (9 years ago)hi Dori.
We are sorry about the theft of your doormat. if you need a new one please see us and use “yoda5” at check out for a discount.