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Dudes Unite!

An apartment building gym that shall remain nameless recently sent the following email to its members:

Subject:  New Class for Guys

Dudes Unite!

This class isn’t for the causal fitness enthusiast… This class is for those that want to take their workouts in another direction and to another level. This class is rough, and its tough, so you can get buff!

So what is it?… It is a total body interval training class with a sports infusion! That means, you get bigger, stronger, faster though many sports fitness drills and athletic skills. This class will use sports training techniques that the pros use to get their athletes to perform better and to increase their lean muscle mass.

In this class we will use ladders for speed drills, cardiovascular movements, weights and resistance bands to increase strength, not to mention plyometric movements to build explosive power while improving your balance and coordination.

So Men,  hang up your ties and strap on your sneakers. Come work out with nationally certified personal trainer Clewi Challeger [sic] and enjoy a class that is guaranteed to challenge you. Clewi is a former division I college football athlete with a powerlifting background.

You want to get better? Then let’s get Ruff, Tuff and Buff starting on Wednesday September 21st at 6:30 pm!

Jane Shelly CPT, CSCS

—

So. Much. To. Say. About this.

Before I go through the contents of this email, I have to give praise to the author. As a writer myself, I only wish I was able to write so descriptively. This person clearly has very strong feelings about this fitness class. I really want to try it — but is it for guys only? That was not clear.

Now, we analyze.

Subject:  New Class for Guys

DSB note: Good start. I’d like to know more.

Dudes Unite!

DSB note: Well, OK then. Dudes unite!

This will be the way I greet people from now on. Good morning, hello, bye = no more. From now on, DUDES UNITE! Every greeting. Who’s with me?

This class isn’t for the causal fitness enthusiast… This class is for those that want to take their workouts in another direction and to another level. This class is rough, and its tough, so you can get buff!

DSB note: I’m not sure if I am more intrigued by what this class might be like, or by the Saved by the Bell Ox-ish rhyme sequence.

So what is it?… It is a total body interval training class with a sports infusion!

DSB note: Whenever I see an ellipses in the middle of two complete sentences, I know they mean business. Manly business. Dudes unite!

That means, you get bigger, stronger, faster though many sports fitness drills and athletic skills. This class will use sports training techniques that the pros use to get their athletes to perform better and to increase their lean muscle mass.

In this class we will use ladders for speed drills, cardiovascular movements, weights and resistance bands to increase strength, not to mention plyometric movements to build explosive power while improving your balance and coordination.

DSB note: I want to know more about this explosive power. What is it exactly? A quick search of the tubes shows me this is a fairly common man-exercise term. Who coined it? And where does the line fall between regular power and explosive power? Is there a formula? 

I can’t speak to ladders, but as for cardiovascular movements, weights, resistance bands and plyometric movements . . . that sounds a whole lot like the classes I take  (though I do not believe I’ve been promised explosive power). My classes are mostly comprised of women. Or I should say, Women, because. . .

So Men,  hang up your ties and strap on your sneakers.

DSB note: What in the hell kind of sneakers are these Men wearing that they are strapped on?! Also, all Men wear ties to work. And you have to achieve explosive power to go from being a man to being a Man.


[Real Men with explosive power after strapping on footwear]

Come work out with nationally certified personal trainer Clewi Challeger [sic] and enjoy a class that is guaranteed to challenge you. Clewi is a former division I college football athlete with a powerlifting background.

DSB note: The lack of Clewi photos and information on the webnets says a lot about his popularity. Also, the fact that he is teaching at an apartment building gym.

You want to get better?

DSB note: Better at what?

Then let’s get Ruff, Tuff and Buff starting on Wednesday September 21st at 6:30 pm!

DSB note: I totally get why they spelled “ruff and tuff” the way they did. But they did not spell the words this way earlier on in the email, which invalidates their decision to do so at this time. Consistency, Man aerobics people!

 

Jane Shelly CPT, CSCS

DSB note: The sender of the email has not one but two girls’ names. After getting all hyped up about Men fitness, seeing two lady names makes me doubt her ability to help Dudes Unite! Hopefully this does not deter any Men from taking class.

—

Final thoughts:

While this email is really funny on many levels, I think  it will scare guys at normal fitness levels away. It sounds impossible! One guy I know (whom I cannot confirm nor deny is my boyfriend, as I specifically promised not to embarrass him) even responded to the email to inquire whether something more basic is available, proclaiming Clewi’s class “about 10 levels past what I am capable of.”

He received no response. Real Men are too busy with explosive power and strap-on sneakers to respond to emails.

Fitness class descriptions should sound challenging — I mean, that is the point — but should also seem attainable. Unless it is an advanced version of a regular class, I don’t like to see people alienated by a workout. That is the reason so many people don’t exercise; they feel out of place, uncomfortable and confused. I used to feel that way all the time. In fact, when I was a member my old gym few years ago, they had IntenSati and I never once went because I thought IntenSati meant “intense.” (It doesn’t.) Now that I know the class, I love it! I also avoided yoga for years for the very same reason.

Regardless, this is a hilarious email and class description. It made my day. What are your thoughts on this email? And is it for guys only? Can I try it?? And do I need a special type of footwear with straps?

Dudes unite!

 

Cooler Cleanse Review + Core Fusion Cardio DVD Winner

Thank you for the great response to the Core Fusion Cardio – Pure Intensity DVD Giveaway! It was really helpful for me to learn about all your favorite exercise DVDs — there was a lot of consensus about Jillian Michaels’ No More Trouble Zones. I will have to give it a try. I also got a nice laugh at some of your old school video choices, especially my sister-in-law Mallory who enjoys the Paula Abdul’s cardio dance workout. My brother chose a real keeper. (P.S. Happy first anniversary!)

Core Fusion Cardio - Pure Intensity

Core Fusion Cardio – Pure Intensity is really an amazing at-home exercise option, so I was really happy to give you all a behind-the-scenes look at the filming. This contest had exactly 100 entries. For some reason I feel like that made my life easier but really it has absolutely does not matter at all. The Random Number Generator chose #39, which is Julie at A Case of the Runs. When asked what her favorite workout DVD is, Julie said:

So far, I work out the Jillian Michael’s DVDs. If I had my own place (soon, I hope!), I’d use workout videos way more often…

Congratulations, Julie! Email me with your address and I will have Acacia send the DVD out to you!

In other news, you might remember that I was having some really bad GI issues a few weeks ago. I started going back to doctors, had a mostly pointless endoscopy and then started feeling a little better on my own. During the time I was feeling really sick, I was barely able to eat. I had no appetite (which in the four years of my illness has never once happened before) and when I did eat a few bites, I would feel so overstuffed and full really quickly. I was in so much pain but I needed to get some nutrients in, so it was a quick decision to start another Cooler Cleanse.

I figured it would be more healthy nutrients and vitamins than I could get in any food I managed to eat, and it would also give my body a break from digesting food, which it was clearly having trouble doing. And I hoped I would come out of the three days feeling much better, which has happened before.

Of course, my situation is extreme, but many people without GI issues choose to do a juice cleanse. The Cooler Cleanse site explains how the Cooler Cleanse works and answers the six big questions about juice cleansing. But please talk to a professional before embarking on any dietary change or juice cleanse.

3 Day Cooler

I chose the 3-Day Cooler. Each day includes two green juices, one red juice, one fruit juice, either a spicy lemonade or a coconut water and a nut milk. One of the reasons I choose Cooler Cleanse over their competitors is because I really like that every day of the juice cleanse is not exactly the same. There is slight variety and when all you are eating for three days is the same juice, every bit of variety helps.

Cooler Cleanse also offers a 5-Day Cooler, a Raw Cooler (raw, vegan, healthy food, helpful in the days before and after your juice cleanse or on its own) and a Custom Cooler where you can choose which juices to receive.

The juices come in easy-to-carry coolers. which you get to keep after.

Cooler Cleanse

This is what my days looked like:

Day 1

Essential Green
Pineapple Ginger
Essential Green
Spicy Lemonade
Essential Red
Brazil Nut Milk

Day 2

Essential Green
Grapefruit Mint
Essential Green
Young Coconut Water
Essential Red
Almond Milk

Day 3

Essential Green
Watermelon Lime
Essential Green
Young Coconut Water
Essential Red
Almond Nut Milk

You can find the ingredients for each juice on the Cooler Cleanse website.

The two questions you’re probably wondering are (1) How did it taste? and (2) Did it make you feel better?

(1) To be honest, I did not love the Essential Greens the way I did last time I wrote my review. I know I liked the type of green juice better when I tried the Healing Cooler, but I wonder if the recipe for Essential Greens was changed at all since my last experience. I still find this green juice far more palatable than Blueprint Cleanse’s. I loved all the fruit juices, especially the Pineapple Ginger. I think the Watermelon Lime would have been better without the lime.

Essential Green

I absolutely loved the Young Coconut Water — which, like the other juices, is not pasteurized, which means you are getting the real, true benefits of it. The studies done recently were on pasteurized brands, which is totally different than pure coconut water.

Cooler Cleanse Young Coconut Water - Dori's Shiny Blog

I also didn’t care much for the Essential Red, but I adored the Brazil Nut Milk. I enjoyed the Almond Milk as well. Both nut milks are very heavy and very filling, so keep that in mind and drink them slowly.

While I still missed eating and longed to just chew something, the three days went by quickly. Overall, I enjoyed the majority of the juices in Cooler Cleanse.

(2) This part gets tricky. On the first day of the cleanse, I felt so full from each juice (because of my ongoing GI issues) that I actually only got through four of the six. Not good. I did a little better the second and third day, but there was unfortunately not a single day where I was able to get through every juice. The purpose of this cleanse is to pump your body full of nutrients and I was not able to get them all. I was hoping to immediately feel pain- and nausea-free as soon as I stopped eating and started drinking only, but that was not the case. But the day after the cleanse, I actually did feel much better and ate some solid food without feeling many symptoms. And while I did not feel 100% better after, and I am not doing amazingly well now, I am feeling far better than I was before the Cooler Cleanse.  I do believe surviving on healthy liquids and not giving my body trouble with eating for three days played some part in that.

Would I recommend Cooler Cleanse? Absolutely.

Cooler Cleanse is offering an exclusive discount to Dori’s Shiny Blog readers! Enter DORI2011 for 15% off your Cooler Cleanse order! (Update: This code has now expired)

[I received the 3-Day Cooler Cleanse at no charge. My review is my honest opinion. All photos taken from CoolerCleanse.com.]

And finally, check out my latest NBC New York: GO Healthy NY post – Dori’s Quest: Core Fusion Yoga – Even Non-Yogis Will Love This

 

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