Archive of ‘Funny’ category

Guest Post: 10 Random Things You Don’t Know About Dori

Hello Fitness Blog People. My name is Andy and I am the boyfriend of Dori. Perhaps you recognize me from the NYC and Richmond Marathons or Celebrating My Birthday, or from me being one of the 10 things Dori is liking in 2012.

I’ve been telling Dori that I’d like to write a guest post and seeing that we’re four days from moving in together, this seemed like the ideal time. Since everyone loves lists, I thought I’d give you 10 Random Things You Don’t Know About Dori. But first here’s a bunch of random things about me so you know who I am and all that.

I have known Dori for a year and 11 days, which is probably less time than most of you have been reading her blog. I am going to be 35 next Wednesday and Dori is taking me to my favorite restaurant – Chili’s! I am from Framingham, Mass. On a related note, I’m not one of those people from a suburb of Boston who just say they’re from Boston (instead of the specific town) nor do I know why everyone does that. [Ed. note: Yes, he is]

Dori and Andy

I sometimes slip into my sexy Dylan McKay whisper voice when I want to seduce Dori (Hey Bren, Hey Kel). I sometimes put on a fake British accent [Ed. note: Does not sound remotely British aside from the use of such words as crumpets] when I want to make Dori laugh. I don’t like chocolate or coffee. I like oatmeal cookies with no raisins and find myself addicted to Diet Snapple Peach Iced Tea. I think Saved by the Bell is overrated and Charles In Charge is underrated. I prefer pools to beaches and Chipotle to Qdoba. I could go on and on about myself … but this isn’t about me. So without further ado…

 

TEN RANDOM THINGS YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT DORI

 

  1. She Watches/Tolerates Sports – I’ll just start with the most important thing since I work in sports and need to watch them for my job (or so I say). It started one innocent summer night when I said to her, “By the way, I spend every Sunday after Labor Day watching football from 1pm to 11pm. And it’ll probably go through the Super Bowl because I feel good about the Patriots this year.” Her response: “OK sounds fun.” Sure, this has something to do with her utter hatred of cold weather (spoiler alert) but it’s better than being cooped on the couch watching Lifetime movies all day. Who am I kidding? I love Lifetime movies. And since you asked, I’m still devastated by the Patriots losing to the Giants in the Super Bowl. It sucked enough when it happened in 2007, especially living in NYC, but for it to happen again four years later is just not fair. At least it wasn’t the Jets.
  2. She Reads Like A Mofo. But Not Magazines – This may have something to do with her being forced to watch football 10 hours every Sunday, but she buries herself in that Kindle for hours reading book after book. However, put a magazine in front of her and there’s no interest. Zero. And I am talking good girlie magazines I get for free from work like People, In Style, Entertainment Weekly. What girl doesn’t like reading People? Dori, that’s who.
  3. Her Apartment Sucks – She’s referenced her 320 square foot paradise in numerous posts and it is quite the spectacle. You walk in, small bedroom with no closet to the left, small bathroom to the right, tiny kitchen in front of you, slightly less small closetless bedroom (technically a living room) off kitchen. That’s it. She’s lived there for six years. I’d say my apartment is roughly 65 percent of the reason she started dating me. Maybe 70. [Ed. note: 95]
  4. She Puts Me In Prison – Ladies, I don’t know if you do this to your boyfriend but it is not fun. I’m lying on the couch. Dori is lying on the couch next to me. Dori then subtly positions her body so it’s at a 45-degree angle and her legs are crossing over mine. Then I try to get up to get water or go to the bathroom and I can’t move because Dori’s legs are preventing me from getting up. I call it putting me in prison. I don’t even think she knows she’s doing it. Then she laughs and apologizes so I can’t really get mad. But maybe if I put it in a post on her blog, she’ll stop doing it so much. [Ed. note: No]
  5. She Won’t Sing Billy Joel – If I were on a desert island and could only have one CD, Billy Joel wouldn’t be my first choice (it’s probably be Pearl Jam or Neil Young). He wouldn’t be my second choice either (that’d be the underrated ‘Til the Medicine Takes by Widespread Panic). He’d probably be around my 25th choice. But that doesn’t stop me from singing Uptown Girl every time we go to one of our favorite UES hotspots, The Uptown Lounge. Of course, I alter the lyrics to reflect the moment. In other words, Dori will say something like, “We should get that pizza we like from Uptown Lounge.” And I’ll respond with, (in tune of Uptown Girl), “Uptown Lounge. We’re having dinner at the Uptown Lounge. Maybe we’ll have a burger and fries, or something else that rhymes with fries.” I’ve sung this song roughly 50 times in the past six months and she won’t bite. It’s addictive though – I bet you’re singing it to yourself right now. [Ed. note: She will sing Billy Joel, she will not sing Uptown Lounge]
  6. She Loves Pajamas – I understand that everyone loves pajamas – they are a sign of being home and comfortable and all that. But nobody gets in their pajamas quicker than Dori. We’ll go out to dinner, return to my apartment and before I’ve even locked the door, she’s got her pajama pants on and regular clothes off. Like 3.6 seconds. It’s impressive. And she always has to make a comment like, “Ugh. I hate clothes.” Apparently, pajamas don’t count as clothes.
  7. She Hates the Cold – Well, everyone hates the cold but Dori really hates the cold and uses the months between September and March to remind me of such every day. She also claims to “melt in the rain,” which is somewhat funny because if anything, you’d melt in the sun because it’s so hot. If anything, one would fall apart in the rain. I kind of like the rain, but only when I’m stuck at work because I don’t want anyone to enjoy the nice weather if I can’t.
  8. She Loves Beverly Hills 90210 – I already mentioned my sultry Dylan McKay whisper/voice that makes her melt, but it’s more than just Luke Perry. She loves Steve’s blonde mullet and Donna’s bad boob job. She loves Brenda’s bitchiness and Brandon’s impenetrable hair. And frankly, I do too, which is why I current have 36 episodes backlogged on my DVR. But there’s more – since we started dating, we met Ian Ziering in person, talked to Tori Spelling on a Facebook chat and have befriended the great Lacey Chabert. Sure, she was on Party of Five but it’s still impressive.Dori and Andy and Ian Ziering
  9. She Loves Hoodies and Yoga Pants –This is her outfit of choice and frankly, I couldn’t be happier. I see way too many girls squeeze into some ridiculously uncomfortable pair of jeans to go out to brunch so the 20 people at the restaurant that she’ll never see again are impressed with how she looks. Not Dori. She could not care less – just throw on some yoga pants and a hoodie and she’s good to go. Though she does look good in yoga pants.
  10. She Likes The Refine Method – As she’s written here a million times, she is a big fan of this workout. No matter how crappy she feels before, she always comes back with a big smile on her face. So a few months ago, I decided to give it a shot since it’s such a big part of her life. I’ll never make that mistake again. No offense to Brynn, who is the best fitness instructor in Manhattan but I couldn’t move my legs for three days after the workout and have no desire to do it again. But there’s Dori, going several times a week and kicking ass. Not that I’m completely lazy – Dori has now taken me to four spin classes which is much easier for me. I’ve also walked roughly 10,000 laps around the Reservoir since moving to NYC several years ago. [Ed. note:  Someone who does not run also signed up for a 3 mile race in May]

Dori and Andy - Jersey City

And there you have it – 10 Random Facts About Dori. And here’s one more – she’s a great girlfriend and an even better roommate (I hope). So if you happen to be in Jersey City and see an amazingly awesome couple walking around like they own the place, that’s probably not us. We’ll be home in pajamas watching a 90210 rerun.

10 Things I Am Liking in 2012

1. Shellac manicures – For the first time in my life, my nails don’t look ragged and jagged and gross with chipped polish that lasts for months as tiny little dots because I am still too lazy to take it off. These manicures last forever (but I go every three weeks) and I get compliments all the time. I feel like a person who is put together and cares about her appearance. Don’t get me wrong, I am not that person; I just feel like her.

2. Refine Method – You all probably hate me because I talk about this all the time and it is only in NYC and you don’t care. I just love it more each class (except during the first two circuits where I wonder why I am there and if it is even worth it), and I’m very excited for the new location opening in Union Square because I think it might prove to be more convenient for me in a few months.

Dori at Refine

3. Being at work – I mean, I’d still much rather not be there. And I still feel dread on Sunday nights and depression upon waking on Monday mornings, but once I am at work, I actually like being there.

4. Oatmeal Creme Pies – Remember those??

Oatmeal Creme Pies

5. Scentsy – A wickless alternative to scented candles, I was skeptical at first because I hate candles and also I’m cheap when it comes to random things that people at work sell and then try to convince me I need. But I made a resolution in February 2010 to be less of an asshole and then I failed, but sometimes I try to make good on that. And now, like everyone else who has one, I love mine very much and ended up buying multiple scents. My favorite is Oats & Honey.

Scentsy

6. Andy – After I finally figured out how to get my really gross runner’s toenail off — using dog nail clippers, thanks to my friend Cassie who had both the idea and the clippers — I told my boyfriend and he said: “Gonna miss that sexy thing.”

7. Kindle – I held off on this for a long time because I used to work at a book company and still have an apartment full of books, even after walking my old lady shopping cart back and forth to the library multiple times (a mile each way) to donate hundreds of books. But then I bought myself one. Is it strange that I think about how grateful I feel for this every single day? Like, even more than I think that about my family?

8. Dylan McKay – I did not remember him having a heroin addiction when he came back to the show after being gone for a few years. What the hell! And why is his sponsor meeting him at the After Dark, a BAR? Whatever. Dylan can do no wrong.

Dylan McKay

9. Watching places on TV and then going to them – Andy and I watched an episode of Bar Rescue and thought it was so cool that we went up to Framingham, MA and visited The Chicken Bone, where we giggled about being famous, practically asked the manager for his autograph when we spotted him behind the bar and drank The Real Blue — just like on the tee-vee!

10. Billy on the Street – This show is hysterical. Billy Eichner is hilarious. I love the way he thinks, his expressions, his reactions and his inflection. Someone loves envelopes!

Next week: ellasport review and giveaway. If I write it here, it means I actually have to put the running skirt on and get myself on a treadmill to try it out so I can actually review it.

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