A Weighty Issue

Sometimes when we gain (or lose) weight, it isn’t because we are eating too much food or the wrong kind of food or we aren’t healthy enough. Sometimes it is our bodies trying to tell us something is wrong.

Two years ago, before I got sick, I was at a healthy, ideal weight for myself. Then I came down my GI illness in August 2007. And then my weight literally shot up.

As someone who had always (not counting college!) been thin, it was a major slap in the face when in November 2007, a salesgirl at a clothing store told me I am thick. I knew my clothes were no longer fitting. I knew that the new clothes I bought for my new job that summer were becoming tighter and tighter. I knew that the belts I was forced to buy one morning before work were no longer needed. But to hear it from someone else, someone who saw me for the first time ever . . . well, it really got to me. Just two years before that, I was (don’t freak out) under 100 pounds. I didn’t have an eating disorder, it was just my small frame combined with conditioned associated with working on a teen tour. My weight stabilized back to its normal amount after that, but I was still very thin. 

And now I was thick.

I went home that night and cried. I couldn’t understand what had happened to me. I wasn’t eating any more than I always had. I wasn’t eating any worse than I always had. I was still eating my oatmeal, salads, brown rice, etc. Only something was clearly wrong.

Over the next year and a half, my weight went up and up, despite regular exercise. Eventually, I learned to avoid the fibrous foods. And my weight dropped a few pounds immediately, but I was still not where I felt comfortable. I was also not eating any fruits or vegetables on the recommendation of my doctor. (Great doctor, huh.) But I still had to buy all new clothes. I couldn’t accept that my old, sexy jeans no longer fit. I avoided going out partially because I felt sick and uncomfortable, but partly because I couldn’t face the fact that the clothes I wanted to wear didn’t fit. I chose to stay home in pajamas than confront that fact.

Last summer was the time I spent a lot of money that I didn’t have to spare on expensive pilates reformer sessions at my old gym, desperate to find something that would help. After that failed, I began spinning all the time. My weight stayed up. And yet I still was not overeating. I was still eating fairly healthy, considering I had to avoid many healthful foods.

Then I learned about green juice, ordered it at some juice bars, bought myself a juicer and began making it every day.  This was the only way I could get many essential vitamins and nutrients. Once I was on the right path, I began figuring out meals that worked for me. I learned that low-fiber spelt is a fantastic grain with tons of health benefits. I learned that a small amount of almond butter won’t hurt me at all, and that the one food that all doctors banned me from — bananas — weren’t harmful to me at all! I learned to eat the whole egg, as yolk aids digestion of the protein in the whites. I learned to eat very small amounts of cooked, soft vegetables. I learned to avoid processed foods, corn oil, soybean oil, margarine, and anything labeled “low-fat” or “fat-free.” And in addition to that, I started getting an alternative medicine treatment that gave me my life back.

And then, without any effort at all on my part to eat less, the weight dropped off. Now I am closer to my original weight than I have been since my problems started. A few days ago, not only did I wear a pair of capris to work that I haven’t worn in two years, but I regretted not having my belt with me! Today I am wearing another pair of capris that I purchased right before my illness started and haven’t been able to wear since — and they feel comfy and great!  I feel great that I am wearing them. It just feels right. And for the record, I exercise much less now than I was four or five months ago when my weight was still up.

I now see that weight gain and weight loss is not necessarily linked  to overeating or undereating. It is not always linked to eating too much fat or too many carbs. It is not always linked to how much exercise you do. Yes, many times it is linked to those things. But sometimes a change in weight is your body’s way of telling you something is wrong.

My weight is not completely back to where I was before I get sick, but it is very close. I feel much more comfortable with my body. I  feel so much better overall, although I am far from cured. I still plan to do everything I can to find a doctor who does research related to my problems, find out what medications, if any, are in the pipeline, try to introduce more foods into my diet and eat real, whole foods. I decided that I do not want the surgery. But I know for sure that my weight finally stabilizing is my body’s way of telling me I am doing something right.

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I’m going to post next week about my frustration with my doctor and the medical system once again next week! Let’s just say yesterday’s immunologist appointment was NOT a success. More to come next week — have a great weekend! Staycation Mon – Wed!

Edited to add: My blog format doesn’t allow me to have a Twitter widget (I will be geting a redesign soon though) but I wanted to remind you all to follow me on Twitter — which I am just now learning to love.