In all the craziness of the last month, I never did announce that I’m speaking on a panel at this year’s Healthy Living Summit. My longtime blogger “imaginary friend” as she puts it, Rachel Wilkerson, asked me to be on her panel. I’d been wanting to meet Rachel since 2009. Her blog made me laugh, kept me entertained and her “sorry I’m not sorry” mantra actually helped me immensely in my own life.

I thought about it for a few days before accepting her invitation. I avoid conferences. I hate talking, I hate having to make conversation, I hate the pain that comes with smiling so much from said conversations and mostly, I hate having to be “on.” It requires a huge effort because I don’t have the gift of gab. I never know what to say and I feel like I have trouble carrying a conversation. I can put in a pretty good show, but in general, the thought of having to talk to so many people that I don’t know, don’t care about, are different from people I usually stick with and having to talk about myself so much overwhelms me. I also don’t like giving up my lazy weekends.

That said, I actually am excited about this weekend. I’m looking forward to meeting Rachel and seeing some other bloggers I’ve met before. I’m looking forward to the CrossFit workout included in the day’s events, especially since one is opening down the block from my apartment and I’ve been curious about it. And mostly, I am excited about being on a panel: The Fuzzy Grey Areas of Blogging.

“Rachel Wilkerson, never one to avoid touchy subjects, hosts this panel with Dori Manela and Teri Zawrotny; together, they’ll tackle questions bloggers often wonder about, but hardly ever discuss — especially not together by the hundreds. We’re talking blogging ethics – we’ll touch a bit on what the law says, then move on to all the questions left behind by what the law DOESN’T say. Topics in this grey area (we hear there are 50, to be exact) include comment policies and handling negative feedback, changing your mind about products/diet choices/workouts you’ve raved about, being honest and authentic while protecting your privacy, accepting free stuff, and so much more. Get ready to go there, friends!”

On our Google+ party where we talked about it, all three of us (Rachel, Teri and myself) had a lot to say. I’m excited to have this discussion in front of and with other people. I have a lot to say, especially after the backlash I received when after taking Refine for a year, I posted about what led me to stop taking Core Fusion and do Refine instead — particularly the insistence that I remove any old posts referencing liking Core Fusion. We’ll discuss the ethics behind this and other issues that come with blogging.

So while I normally wouldn’t attend a conference like this, I couldn’t pass up this opportunity. And my company Hydroxatone is a sponsor, with everyone getting one of my favorite products, the cooling, soothing, refreshing Instant Lift Pads in their swag bags. They’re especially great for after a lot of booze, so they should came in handy tomorrow morning.

From 3:30 to 4:20 pm ET on Saturday, August 18 you can follow the discussion on Twitter with hashtag #HLS50shades. The overall conference hashtag is #HLS12

I didn’t post about this sooner because up until the other day, I wasn’t sure if I’d make it to the conference. My Aunt Dale, who read this blog every week, passed away on Monday after a six-year battle with kidney cancer. I’m having a really hard time. The funeral was Wednesday, and it was the worst day I can ever remember having in my life.

I spent the last week with my family and all the people who came over to my mom’s to sit shiva with us. I’m actually going up to the conference and as soon as it’s over, heading right back home to continue sitting shiva. I decided to still go to the conference because I need a distraction. My mind is running in overtime and I cry at the smallest thing. I couldn’t find my bracelet yesterday; I cried. A bitch shoved me out of the way to take a seat on the PATH train; I cried. I think this distraction will do me some good. And I know how much my Aunt enjoyed reading my blog, so it seems right to go.

I have a lot more to say but now’s not the time. I’m not packed, I don’t know what I am wearing and I am leaving in 30 minutes. I hope you follow along on Twitter and if you’ll be there, say hi. I might not be the most social person (although the alcohol at the cocktail party tonight should help) but I am usually a nice one. See ya.

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