The boy and I went to his step-sister’s wedding on Saturday. Since I am am due for a straightening touch up, I decided to get my hair blown out. As I mentioned, I made an appointment at Blow, a blow dry bar that looks so cool from the outside. I figured that since this is their specialty, they must be great. I also decided to get my makeup done at Bloomingdale’s after, since it is a few blocks from Blow and it’s free.

I arrived at Blow for my 10:45 am appointment. I met the guy who would be blowing my hair and sat down in his chair to discuss what I wanted. I told him I wanted my hair blown out very straight with a little bouncy curl at the ends. He examined my hair and said okay — and that should have been my first warning sign.

Anyone who knows hair can take one look at my head and know that my hair is straightened — and that I have about 3 inches of regrowth right now. He didn’t seem to notice so I told him that my hair is Japanese straightened and asked if that would cause a problem with getting the ends to curl. If it would, all straight would be fine.

He told me he wasn’t sure but we would try. Sounded good to me.

We had to wait for a sink to open up for the shampoo. I was a little annoyed that they didn’t have enough sinks for their appointments, but it wasn’t a big deal. After the shampoo, I sat back down in the chair and he started drying my hair. After a minute, he said:

“Why do you get your hair straightened? It’s not that curly.”

Uhhhh. Now at this point, he had 3 inches of my natural hair in front of his face. Even if he didn’t know hair enough to tell beforehand, at this point it should have been crystal clear that my hair is a curly, frizzy mess. It was right in front of him and he still couldn’t tell.

I should have left. I realize this now. This guy obviously does not know hair. But as I looked around the salon, I saw everyone walking out looking amazing. Their hair had bounce and style and definition. I felt reassured.

So I stayed. He asked if I wanted a little height and I said “just a tiny bit.” He kept blowing out my hair and then…. he plugged in a curling iron.

Anyone that knows anything about hair knows that you can’t curl straightened hair. It won’t take.

He saw my fear and said, “We’ll just try it and see what happens.” Uhhhh…

He curled. And curled. And then he picked up TreSemme hairspray. That’s right. This salon uses the most inexpensive brand of hairspray available. Also, HAIRSPRAY?!!?!?! He hairsprayed. And hairsprayed more. I began to realize that the soft hair and slight bounce I had been looking forward to was not going to be my reality.

He turned me to the mirror and I couldn’t speak. And then he spoke…

“The curls are all coming loose. I’ll hairspray them some more!”

OMG.

When he was finished, I looked like I was going to the prom in 1980. My hair in front, which I like to be down around my face, was curled BACK in layers of hard hairspray. Away from my face. As for height, there was a LOT of it. Throughout the rest of my head were hard curling iron curls that looked teased and unnatural and as I touched my head, it felt hard as a rock. As for bounce, well, there was none. My hair was frozen.

I wanted to tell him it wasn’t at all what I had asked for, but I was getting worried about the time and just needed to get out of there. Also, it makes me uncomfortable. I don’t like complaining or making a stink and I don’t want to seem obnoxious. I know it is okay if I did… but I didn’t. So I paid ($60 + tip — and I tipped too much…), walked out, called the boy and started crying. I figured that if my makeup looked really great maybe my hair wouldn’t  be so bad. I’ve gotten makeup done a bunch of times and always love how amazing it looks.

After that, I went to Bloomingdale’s and found out that you need an appointment to get your makeup down at the counter. I never knew that! I have gotten it done on Long Island a few times without needing an appointment, so I didn’t even consider it. I ended up at the Bobbi Brown counter where the woman started my makeup and told someone else that it would “only take 20 seconds.” Um. I’d kinda like more time spent…

I told her what color my dress was — black with a teal belt. I figured that would help her in choosing colors and all. When she “finished”, she held up a mirror in front of my face. My eyelids were brown. My skin was colorless. My lips were light brown. I looked like nothing. But the worst part? I have three light red spots under my mouth that are scars of past pimples. They are very easy to cover up — and they were SHOWING. I asked the makeup person, Johanna, to cover them up, and she said:

“Well, if I do that you’ll have more of a made up look.”

Isn’t that why I was there? I told her that is fine and she attempted to cover them up. One more look in the mirror and they still showed. I purchased a lip gloss because you have to get something when you get free makeup (if you can even call this that) and I left. Again, didn’t want to make her redo it since I wasn’t happy with her abilities anyway and I was short on time — plus, I knew she was short on time, too. And it was free and I didn’t want to make a whole thing out of it.

I got in a cab and called my mom and told her how awful everything was. She told me to go to the boy’s and fix my hair myself. I told her I couldn’t because of all the hairspray. If I brushed it, it would turn into a bigger mess. She suggested I wash it and start over but there just wasn’t enough time for me to make it look good on my own. I had an idea — I told my mom that there is a salon right under the boy’s building that looks really nice. I had never gone there because we heard it was overpriced. My mom told me to just go there and have them fix it. I decided that was the best plan.

I went to the boy’s apartment first because I wanted to try on my dress with my awful hair and makeup and see if it looked okay. It didn’t. The boy told me my makeup looks much better when I do it myself. He was right. But I didn’t want to do it myself. I went down to Cleo Spa.

We have walked by this spa a zillion times and it looks so nice — but it is always pretty empty. I had considered getting a manicure and pedicure there but the boy heard it was expensive so I never did. At this point, I did not care about the price at all. If I did my own hair and makeup, I would look the same as always and I knew I was going to be in a lot of pictures. I just wanted to look nicer than usual for the wedding!

Now, let me just add that by this point, all the curls had fallen out. BECAUSE MY HAIR IS STRAIGHTENED AND YOU CAN”T CURL IT. Ughhh. But the crazy height and blown away from my face of the front stayed in place. But the rest was a flop with some pieces sticking straight out that used to be curls.

It is now 1:00. We are leaving at 2:15 for the wedding. I run into Cleo Spa and I tell the woman at the front desk that I got my hair and makeup done somewhere else and am very unhappy with it. I asked if I could have both done immediately and she said yes! I mean, yeah, they are generally empty. But still!

I sat down and told the stylist, Sophie, what I wanted. I told her the same thing I told the guy at Blow: blown out straight and soft with some curls and bounce at the very ends. She shampooed all the hairspray out and as soon as she started blowdrying I knew things would be better, as she blew my long side bangs straight down across my face. Not teased up and back.

To curl the ends, she twisted the brush around under the blow dryer and then went over it with the hair iron, curling the ends using that. EXACTLY as I knew it needed to be done. Exactly as I  thought the guy at Blow would have done. My hair turned out perfect and amazing and gorgeous and bouncy! I couldn’t stop looking at it or twisting my head to feel the light bounce! I also couldn’t stop touching how soft my hair was.

On to the makeup. Time was running out. The makeup artist was a guy named Alexis, and he was so sweet. When I explained to him what happened at Blow he stopped me and said — “You got that done today?” I told him I did and he said, “Wait — when you walked in here, that was done today? And it looked like THAT?!”

Exactly.

And I kept stressing to him that I am not a complainer, I am not like this, just so he wouldn’t think I would complain about him! I said the same thing to Sophie during my blowout as well!  Alexis pulled out this massive tray of shimmery, loose powder eye shadows and we tried to match the colors to my teal belt of the dress. We finally got it and he went to work. He couldn’t believe that Johanna at Bobbi Brown put on mascara and didn’t bother curling my eyelashes. He curled them and it made a world of difference — they really popped! My eyelashes are very long so it makes a big difference. He couldn’t understand why she didn’t do it herslef — but I think she just didn’t care.

The curled lashes combined with the bright teal eyeshadow was perfect. Alexis covered up my face better, put on a bright blush (which I need because I am deathly pale — and Johanna left me even paler!) and bright pink lipstick/gloss. It was perfect. I was thrilled. I wanted to buy the lipstick, but he said he had mixed 3 together and they also don’t have anything on sale yet. But they will next week.

And it wasn’t nearly as expensive as I thought. I had expected to drop close to $200 at Cleo — and was VERY pleasantly surprised when the bill was just $95 total for makeup and blowout!

I was out of the salon at 2:05. I  ran up to the boy’s, put on my dress and was ready to go!

 

Update: I called Blow and told them about my experience. They said next time I come they will set me up with a different stylist and I can get a complimentary manicure with my blow out. Which is nice, but a blow out at Cleo plus a manicure somewhere else will be cheaper than a blowout at Blow anyway. I will not be going back to Blow.

Not related, but I got 2 calls yesterday from “Do Not Answer.” That is what I saved Juan, the creepy dry cleaner’s cell phone number as. He left me one voicemail. This is what he said:

Hi Dori this is Juan. How are you? (Pause) This is my phone number. I need you to call back. Bye.

I just called Verizon and blocked his number. I have to remember to log on to their site every 90 days to re-block. You can block up to 5 people. Good to know!

• 20 comments