Archive of ‘Funny’ category

Mish Mosh

As promised, here are some photos of me on my Urban Rebounder:

Dori on Rebounder 1 Dori on Rebounder 3 Dori on Rebounder 2

Aside from being an easy, inexpensive, fun eksusis that you can do at home while watching TV, rebounding touts numerous health benefits. After Maggie got hers off Craigslist, I was motivtaed to do the same thing. Mine even came with 2 DVDs, but until I figure out how to set up the DVD player, I will be rebounding to all my TV shows  this season: House, Nip/Tuck, The Office, Community, 30 Rock, Parks & Recreation, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Desperate Housewives, Modern Family, Law and Order: SVU. Click here to read about the benefits of rebounding!

Missy, Megan and Melissa all selected me as a winner of the Over The Top Award.

Over the Top

In order to accept this award, I need to answer the following questions with just one word answers.

1. Where is your cell phone? table
2. Your hair? blown
3. Your mother? pretty
4. Your father? curly
5. Your favorite food? breakfast
6. Your dream last night? ring
7. Your favorite drink? almond
8. Your dream/goal? writer
9. What room are you in? living
10. Your hobby? reading
11. Your fear? jobless
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? there
13. Where were you last night? wedding
14. Something you aren’t? Asian
15. Muffins?  banana
16. Wish list item? chair
17. Where did you grow up? Queens
18. Last thing you did? type
19. What are you wearing? turtles
20. Your TV? floor
21. Your pets? Santana?
22. Your friends? ugly
23. Your life? ridiculous
24. Your mood? sleepy
25. Missing someone? Henries
26. Vehicle? Manhattan
27. Something you’re not wearing? underwear
28. Your favorite store? health
29. Your favorite color? green
30. When was the last time you laughed? today
31. Last time you cried? tomorrow
32. Your best friend? Rae
33. One place that I go over and over? bathroom
34. One person who emails me regularly? Jen
35. Favorite place to eat? IHOP

I pass this award on to the following bloggers:

Jen from PriorFatGirl
Janna from Just Flourishing
Santana from The Santana Chronicles

You ladies are all OVER THE TOP.

I was also awarded another award from Melissa with a different set of requirements. I will do that one another time!

And now, an XKCD.com webcomic:

Bad flu epidemics can hit young adults hardest because they provoke their powerful immune systems into overreaction, so to stay healthy spend the next few weeks drunk and sleep-deprived to keep yours suppressed.

I Love Jury Duty/Gearing up for Humor Writing/Pancake Searchers

For some reason, the most popular search engine search term people are using to get to my blog lately is pancakes. How and why! The most popular used to be a neck on neck race between Chobani yogurt and my name, but somewhere along the way pancakes blew both out of the water. How funny!

Here is a treat for all you pancake searchers:

Pancake Stack

Mmmmmmm.

So today was my second and FINAL day of jury duty. I have to say, I absolutely loved it.

Things I loved about jury duty:

  • Not getting my name called for Day #1’s case
  • Getting dismissed at noon on Day #1 and having the rest of the gorgeous summery day free to nap
  • Not having to arrive until 10:00 am on Day #2
  • Being able to get up at a normal time to run outside instead of insanely early dark time
  • Not getting my name called for Day #2’s case (33 names were called!)
  • Having more time to read The Omnivore’s Dilemma
  • Getting dismissed at 11:45 am on Say #2 and having the rest of the gorgeous summery day free to stop at Bloomingdale’s and get 40 Carrots frozen yogurt for the first and last time this summer (used to have it all the time last year), buy new shoes at a sale price, pick up my mail and some fall clothing, and pick up my Continental Airlines 5th Avenue Mile bib and chip
  • Knowing I can’t be called for jury duty again in NY state for another 6 years (As my friend Melanie pointed out, I’ll be in my 30s – eek!)
  • Drinking wine at 4:30 pm on a Thursday
  • Having more time to blog and rest
  • Getting 2 free days off work!

What can I say? I am proud to have completed my civic responsibility and served in the American justice system!

I am getting more and more nervous and excited about my upcoming Humor Writing class. Every now and then I feel a pang that I’m not taking the Memoir Writing class, because most of the stories I have to tell aren’t the funny kind, but then I think about how funny it will be to spend my Wednesdays in an environment of funny and to learn from Sara Barron, author of The Porn (you need to read her book to understand) and challenge myself. They also recommend devoting about 5 hours a week to the assignments which will take away from blogging time — but hopefully I can share my work as blog entries and kill two birds with one stone. I just hope I can think of funny things. And I can always take the 1 day intensive Memoir Class or take the 10 week next semester. Class starts Wednesday!

I am excited (but sad about not being able to go see Regina Spektor on Oct 14 at Radio Cityplease let me know if you can buy my tickets from me). I have been struggling lately because I know I need to make some major life changes but being that I don’t know exactly what I want — just that I want something different than what I am doing now — I think Humor Writing class is a great place to start. It is new. It is funny. It is sure to be the most fun way to spend 3 hours a week for 10 weeks. And some people tell me my blog is funny, although I don’t see it myself. So I’d like to cultivate that a little more!

Speaking of funny, I found my funny book! I mentioned in a previous post that I used to carry around a little notebook with an Oscar Wilde quote on the front. I tried to write down all the funny things people around me said. It didn’t last long, but maybe I will start it up again. I also thought of some very funny ideas while running this morning! However, I have no recollection at all as to what they were. Boo!

By the way, another great run this morning. 2.2 miles, very slow pace (just where my body should be right now) and I am excited to push myself on Saturday’s 1 mile race. The reason running used to be hard for me (other than the fact that I am new to it) is that I was always pushing myself to go faster than my body wants. Now I push myself to go slow and I have been enjoying myself much more. For Saturday’s race, I set a VERY ambitious goal for myself — 8:50 min — but who knows, maybe I’ll reach it. On my own runs I’ve been trying to slow to around 11 min/miles so that I can feel good for an extended period of time. But for a 1 miler? Who cares how I feel‽ I am giving it all I have. And yes, I just used an interrobang.

So back to my funny book. On the front there is an Oscar Wilde quote that I love:

Memory is the diary that we all carry about with us.

Love it. Except for the fact that I can’t remember most things, which is why I got it in the first place. My biggest regret in my life thus far is that I didn’t keep a journal, especially when I was working on a teen tour. When I have kids I am going to strongly encourage them to keep a journal. Memories are so important.

Here’s one example from the book. I used to work in the English Department at Baruch College while I was pursuing my masters degree there in Corporate Communication. I had a little crush on one of the professors, and this was our encounter one day (FYI his codename was Sasha)

Sasha: Where are the cookies?
Me: I ate them.
Sasha: ALL of them?!

And yes, I had eaten all of them. I will never forget the look of shock on Sasha’s face — although I would have forgotten if I didn’t write this down. It was embarrassing yet funny. And it portrays my love of cookies.

There is more in here (not much more) that is pretty funny, although most of them are “you had to be there” types. What I never wrote down but reallyyyyy wish I had was all the encounters and stories I have about someone very stupid who I know well. I was trying to search old google chat conversations with people to see if I vented on there about this person, but so far I have not found success. Damn AIM and other programs that do not forever save my conversations in easily searchable format for eternity! It is google chat ONLY from now on.

I also brought back a book I had sitting in my apartment called Comedy Writing Secrets and one called Jewish Humor: What the Best Jewish Jokes Say About the Jews, along with two David Sedaris books I have not yet read (but I LOVED the ones I did read). For research. And my friend Phoebe lent me her copy of Waiter Rant: Thanks for the tip – Confessions of a Cynical Waiter (based on this website).

So much to read and no time to read it! If only I had more jury duty . . .

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