I get upset easily. I am a crier. I do not have a thick skin. This is a flaw. I don’t like it about myself and I don’t recommend you try this at home.
It is because of this flaw that I feel the need to defend myself to idiots on the internet.
I left a totally innocuous comment on one of my favorite blogs, Melissa Nibbles. She was talking about people jumping on the gluten-free/sugar-free/whatever else-free bandwagon and explained that she eats all those foods and her stomach feels fine. I commented and said:
I’m still waiting for people to join me on the “I’m giving up salad bandwagon.” Talk about making my stomach hurt.
What I did not say:
- No one should eat salad! It is bad for you.
- I hate vegetables and I won’t eat them!
- My body feels better when I eat crappy foods than vegetables, so I will eat crappy foods!
Nope, said none of those things. All I said was that salad (not vegetables; salad) makes MY stomach hurt. “Hurt,” by the way, was a euphemism for “be rushed to the emergency room while screaming in pain.”
A commenter by the name of Cat felt the need to respond to my comment, since she was able, by use of her extremely advanced brain power, to know exactly what I meant when I said salad makes my stomach hurt:
Dori I’ll join you on that no-salad bandwagon. My insides feel waaaay better when all I’m consuming is bread, beer and meat compared to when I’m eating vegetables at every meal.
I immediately went back to my own comment, because I had no recollection of saying I eat meat. As a vegetarian, it doesn’t sound like something I would say — but Cat seems to know all, so she must be right! I also don’t drink beer. While I never liked the taste, now I physically cannot drink it because it is a bloating agent as I am sure many of you know. And about those vegetables. Last I heard, vegetables — especially cooked vegetables (which I CAN eat!) — are not the same thing as salad. When I say salad, the first thing that comes to mind is a bowl with a good amount of raw lettuce or spinach — the foods that would completely debilitate me. I cannot eat raw vegetables.
I know I should have just let it go. Who cares, right? It’s the internet and people are jerks and can hide behind the cloak of anonymity.
But I couldn’t help myself. I can’t explain it, but I feel this need to defend myself on the internet. I don’t want people thinking incorrect things about me and I felt frustrated at the complete misreading of my comment. Ask any of my friends or family — they will tell you I am one of the cleanest eaters they know. People come to me for nutrition advice! I write a health blog! So the insinuation that I eat crap foods — all because “salad makes my stomach hurt” — offended me. Cat falls into the category of “What is wrong with EVERYONE?!“
Listen, I am all for dissenting comments. I don’t want anyone to be scared to say what they are thinking in my own comments section. If you call me a self-entitled c*nt (Hi John!) I might call you out on it, but you don’t need to agree with whatever I am saying. I welcome and encourage all types of comments as long as you’re not an ass about it.
But I can only appreciate dissenting comments when there is some sort of basis. Some facts or knowledge. And if you don’t know what you are talking about, either research it or simply ask! Cat could have said “Dori, why does salad make your stomach hurt? Do all vegetables do that? What do you eat?” Instead, she assumed that I meant I hate vegetables and love meat and beer, and she attacked. And since when is it OK to judge someone else’s pain?
So I replied.
Cat — That sounds like an exciting diet but as as a vegetarian and non-beer drinker (chronic stomach illnesses destroy all the fun!) I won’t be able to join.
I expressed my point concisely, although I could have been less abrasive. I generally try not to be passive aggressive and I think I failed here, but at least I said what I needed to say.
I doubt Cat clicked through to my blog, but if she did she might have seen that my most recent post at the time linked to this article about my ordeal with a chronic illness that keeps me from eating some of the healthy foods I love. But my guess is that Cat is not someone who does much reading.
And by the way, there are other people in my no-salad bandwagon. I know this because they have contacted me after reading my blog to commiserate. And guess what? They are all people with digestive illnesses. And none of them are happy with this restriction.
It kills me every day that “salad makes my stomach hurt.” I want so much to be able to eat this food that I loved before I got sick. I wasn’t denying that salad is healthy; the fact it is so healthy makes me SAD that I can’t enjoy its health benefits! Which is why I drink green juice instead. Which is sort of like beer and meat.
The next time you’re about to click that submit button on a comment, think for a second about whether you are being an uninformed jerk. Read this great Hollaback Health post on leaving dissenting comments. And then, if your comment is still ignorant and this is truly who you are, go ahead and click submit.
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