2010 archive

Project Tasteless, Naked Chef Challenge: My Pasta

A few weeks ago, Rachel’s clothes were all in the laundry and she was forced to cook naked. She posted a picture of herself wearing nothing but her apron. It was a hot picture and a lot of us went a little nuts over it. This is how I learned that side boob is the new cleavage.

Frustrated with the typical contests in the blogworld that don’t recognize creativity or humor, Rach decided to hold a blog contest of her own. One that any of us would have a shot at winning. And so Project Tasteless was born. Challenge #1? The Naked Chef Challenge. Because her own nude cooking was so wildly successful and, well, sexy.

And I had to participate. Being naked except for an apron sounded like exactly where I wanted to be.

Project Tasteless

First things first, I had to borrow an apron. I do not own an apron and really, I have no reason to. I turned to the Twitters with a request for an apron and my good friend Erica responded! She had an apron for me. One caveat — it said “Erica” on it.

That made it even better and funnier.

Okay so I had the apron, now I just needed a recipe and someone to cook for/assist me in taking the photos. Since I was going to be wearing nothing but an apron, I figured it was only fitting to ask a boy to come over. I started texting all the boys I know to find out who wanted me to cook naked for them.

No one did.

I could not find a single person willing to let me cook naked for him. Why are things like this so easy for women on TV? Why is it so hard for me? I decided to open the field up a bit and I turned to the Twitters, where I asked the world at large.

No one responded. I asked again. Nothing. Except for one guy who told me “I’m not that fat.” I think he was trying to make me feel better about no one wanting to see me naked. Uh, thanks. Block.

Then I tried on the apron and took a picture of myself in the mirror, which I proceeded to sext to the same guys who already shot me down. No one took the bait.

Luckily my roommate, who is rarely home, was spending the night in the apartment so I had someone to cook for and help me! Relieved, I could focus on the next pressing task: the recipe.

I am not a chef. I rarely order takeout, but the food I make for myself every day is very basic and very quick. I considered making my Magnolia Banana Pudding which is SO GOOD, but remembered a comment Rachel made once about how her boyfriend, one of Project Tasteless judges, does not like banana pudding. I thought hard about any other recipe I would be comfortable enough with to make nude. After all, you can’t just make a brand new recipe when you’re naked and anything can go wrong. Better to be familiar with the potential hazards. But I don’t really make anything. I eat pretty basic meals. I didn’t think I could dip bread in hummus and submit it for a contest. Then it hit me.

MY PASTA!

My Pasta is this really delicious pasta dish that my mom used to make for me starting in high school. Then I started making it myself. It is so good and so easy and delicious. My Pasta was the perfect recipe for this challenge. And yes, My Pasta is the official name. If my mom would ask what I was having for dinner and I responded with “My Pasta” she knew exactly what I meant.

When I tell you what is in my pasta, it will sound weird. The ingredients don’t seem like they should be in pasta and it might be hard to imagine them together. But I promise you — it tastes great and it really just works. My roommate agrees.

Ingredients:

  • One bag extra wide egg noodles
    *Today though, I used one bag wide whole wheat egg white noodles to healthify it
  • One can pineapple chunks in its own juice
  • Cinnamon
  • One container 1% cottage cheese (not whipped)

Directions:

  • Cook entire bag of noodles per instructions in large pot (larger than one shown, which was too small)

  • While waiting for pasta to cook, drain juice from pineapple chunks (unpictured)
  • If nude, pose seductively

  • And drink wine

  • Strain pasta when it is finished cooking and then pour it back in the pot

  • But make sure you get your potholder down from on top of the cabinet

  • Stir in container of cottage cheese right away, while pasta is very warm

  • Stir in entire can of pineapples

  • Stir in cinnamon, to taste (I use a lot)

  • Repeat as needed

  • Serve and eat

That was fun! And even better, a boy DID end up coming over. Sadly for all involved, I was fully dressed by that time. I found Project Tasteless Naked Chef Challenge to be a fun bonding experience with my roommate, who I have known for 10 years now. My recipe might not be the most creative or especially complicated, but it is easy and delicious and healthy. Cook it naked, and it is also fun.

How I Fought a Cold in One Day

When I woke up Sunday morning, I felt ick and yuck (technical terms). My nose was a little stuffy, my ears a little painful, my head a little cloudy. I was registered for an 11:30 am Core Fusion Cardio class. I knew there was no way I could comfortably make it through, and luckily I was right outside the four hour window to cancel class. I canceled, and then considered my options.

I could go to 12:30 Core Fusion with one of my favorite teachers, as I had originally planned before changing it to Cardio the day before.  I could go to an earlier class closer to home and be done. I could go to a later class closer to home, when I might feel more awake, more alert and less sick.

None of these options appealed to me. It was clear what my only real option was. My body was begging for it.

UNPLANNED REST DAY!

And that, my friends, is item #1 in How I Fought a Cold in One Day.

Yep, one day. I woke up on Monday feeling better. Today is Tuesday, and I still feel better — although I am continuing following the below advice just in case. Keep in mind that I am not a doctor or professional healer. I am telling you what specifically I did on Sunday, and what I do at other times, that worked for me.

How I Fought a Cold in One Day

#1 – Take a rest day from working out

If you’re anything like me, taking a rest day is not always appealing. I plan my days around my workouts and I plan my workouts around my days. This is a pretty new thing for me; it only started when I fell in love with running, Core  Fusion and yoga. Prior to that, I had to force myself onto the elliptical or spin class or whatever. Once I realized not only that I love running, Core Fusion and yoga, but that they helped my body and my entire life in ways I could never have imagined, planning them into my days became automatic.

These things also taught me how important it is to listen to my body. I knew a Core Fusion class, although not intense cardio like the CF Cardio I canceled, was still way too intense for me on this day. I felt icky and the thought of Core Fusion overwhelmed me. It did not sound fun, even with one of my favorite teachers. My body was telling me not to go. I listened.

For extra validation, I turned to my new favorite website dailymile. I posted a note: Taking an unplanned rest day. Woke up feeling a cold coming on… Oh how I’ve changed. I remember when most days were rest days!

I received 15 comments and two “Likes” in support of my decision. If you ever want to feel good about yourself or your decisions, log on to dailymile.com.

#2 – If the weather is not cold or raining, get fresh air

I would have easily wasted my entire day in bed watching 30 Rock if my friend didn’t get me outside. Sunday was a perfect, warm, sunny day in New York City and I was fully prepared to spend it with my computer on my lap. Luckily I have a great new friend who got me out and walking all around (and spending money on jeans I might or might not need). The fresh air and sunshine took most of my ick feeling away. I felt a thousand times better just being outside on a beautiful day!

I also got to try on my future engagement ring at Ann Taylor.

I SAID YES!

#3 – Drink green juice

This is an important one. I used to get colds all the time and now I don’t. Among other things, I strongly attribute this to green juice. When I say green juice, I don’t mean it actually has to be green, although it often is. I say green juice to mean any type of unpasteurized vegetable juice. This is different than the bottled (or boxed) juices you can find in the supermarket. Those juices are pasteurized, which destroys the vital enzymes and nutrients.

Fresh juice is like drinking straight vegetable health (because that is exactly what it is). You’re getting all the nutrients with none of the fiber that takes your body’s resources and slows down its absorption of those nutrients. They can go directly to your blood stream and help fight and cure your cold. If you make a habit of drinking juice regularly, you can more effectively prevent colds from happening.

[Source: Choosing Raw]

I own a Breville juicer and I love it, but if you don’t want to buy one there are other places to get a fresh juice. Many delis have juicers and I find that in NYC, they will advertise this fact on their store window or awning. Of course, you can buy juice at a juice bar and if you don’t think you have a juice bar near you, try a local gym — many of them have juicers in their cafes and will allow non-members to place an order.

Which brings me to my next point…

#4 – Eat as cleanly as possible

My friend Cassie is a vegan. She eats mostly raw. She drinks green juice every day. Dog food for her chihuahua Basil is vegetables and dog treats are One Lucky Duck macaroons. She gives people colonics for a living. Before her healthy lifestyle, Cassie got colds all the time. Now, Cassie never gets colds.

This goes in line with item #3 above. Not only should you drink juice even when you’re not sick, you should eat as cleanly as possible – all the time. I remember when I got a cold about once a month. Since cleaning up my act and changing my eating habits, I have gotten about two full blown colds in the last three years.

On this day, I made especially sure to eat well. I didn’t eat anything processed (with one notable exception, discussed in the next item). I didn’t eat any animal products (I am a vegetarian, but not vegan). I ate steamed vegetables. I ate (drank?) vegetable soup. I ate oatmeal and banana and nut butter and brown rice.

As important as my food was on Sunday when I was fighting an oncoming cold, it is more important that I eat that same way most of the time. Get enough nutrients, give your body food it recognizes and don’t clog it up with crap and you might find yourself getting sick less often too.

#5 – Suck on Cold EEZE like it’s your job

Okay, okay. I know Cold EEZE is not a whole food. It is probably not the greatest thing in the world for you. Hell, it contains corn syrup. That is something I try to avoid like the plague. That said, I swear by Cold EEZE. I do. Sometimes you have to sacrifice health for, well, health. The key cold fighting ingredient in Cold EEZE is ionized zinc.

You can buy other products containing zinc, but here’s the thing. Cold EEZE ionizes their zinc, which  is what has shown positive clinical results in fighting and/or shortening colds.  I do not buy the sugar free variety because I am scared of artificial sweeteners.

Cold EEZE

[Source: Cold EEZE]

I can’t say anything for certain, but I tend to latch on to Cold EEZE from the moment I feel a cold coming on and I haven’t gotten a cold in a very long time (way to jinx it D.) Whenever a Twitter friend mentions they feel like they are getting sick, I always jump in and recommend Cold EEZE. It tastes much better now than when it first came out years ago. My favorite flavors are Cherry and Strawberries & Cream. You can find drugstore versions of the exact same thing for less money — but they don’t have the Strawberries & Cream flavor.

Also of note — there have been some studies on the effectiveness of Cold EEZE, but nothing has been done yet on Airborne.

#6 – Buy a humidifier you find adorable

Look at that cutie pie! I actually bought it because I’ve been waking up with blood on my face (sexy, I know!) from the dry air in my apartment + my nose. But I was glad to have it at night when I went to sleep. First of all, the air from it smells so good. I stick my face in it and just inhale the delicious air. Second, it really helps with nasal congestion which is what usually makes me feel sicker than I actually am.

#7 – Rest

I spent hours upon hours in bed with 30 Rock on Sunday, as I mentioned earlier. Never underestimate good old rest. Or 30 Rock.

I wanted to put 10 items on this list and make it nice and round, but really I only did these seven things and this post is already long for me to start adding in things I think are funny but don’t really fit. I know what it feels like when a cold is coming on (ick and yuck) and I truly believe I recognized the signs and effectively fought it this time. This is not to say I will never get sick — believe me, I will — but I didn’t get sick this week and for that I am happy. Being sick f*cking sucks.

Have you ever done any of these things I mentioned? What are your surefire cold remedies?

P.S. Unrelated — That ankle pain during my half marathon? I sprained my ankle. Sigh.

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