I decided my body could benefit from a massage the weekend between the NYC Half Marathon and my upcoming 13.1 Marathon this weekend. I got a good deal at a fancy spa and booked my appointment for Sunday, March 28. I was looking forward to this day for weeks, and even more so after the muscle pain in my legs after the half marathon. I needed it.
The massage therapist introduced herself and brought me into the room. She asked me if there was any area I would like her to focus on and I told her that I recently ran a half marathon and would be running another shortly, and I would love her to focus on my legs.
The massage started and I wasn’t impressed. I actually spent more time wondering when she would move on to the next part because she was pressing down on muscles in my neck and moving them back and forth. It didn’t really feel like a massage, but I didn’t want to ask her to decrease her pressure because I wanted a lot of pressure on my legs, and didn’t want to have to keep requesting things of her. It wasn’t pleasant, but I stuck with it figuring I’d feel great when it was over.
But then, she saw my toes.
As I’ve mentioned, I have been initiated into the hardcore runners club with my first black toenails. I went to the doctor and he drained them. He told me that because I overpronate, I am prone to getting black toenails because of the way my feet hit the ground. He said bigger shoes might help, but I will likely continue to get black toenails regardless.
I did get bigger shoes, and the doctor was right, I still continued to get the blood blisters on top of my toes that turn the nail black. One of my toenails even fell off. Sexy! Luckily, many of my friends have this same issue and they assured me many times it is not a big deal. I also read Runners World religiously, so I know how common this is. The doctor even congratulated me on being initiated as a real runner! And since the nails don’t hurt anymore, the doctor told me there is absolutely nothing to worry about. Aside from the fact that the toe miiiiiight not grow back if the ridge closes, but that is not pertinent to this story.
So the lady, her name was Barbara, saw my toes and I could feel her judgement emanating from her when she was by my feet. I knew what was coming when she started to speak.
“I just need to say,” she began. “I see your toenails and you need a bigger toebox in your shoes.”
“Well my running shoes are actually a full size bigger than the size I wear, I have a lot of room in the front.” I explained.
“No. This is not normal. Your shoes don’t fit.”
I started getting defensive. And annoyed, given I was IN THE MIDDLE OF GETTING A MASSAGE.
“I went to the doctor and he said this is common because I overpronate, and it will happen even with bigger shoes.”
“No. This is not normal. You can’t listen to that. People say it’s common, but it’s not. This is very bad.”
I said, “Many of my friends have black toenails too and they’re all fine. It is just something that happens to some people when they run longer distances.”
“What do you mean by longer distances?” Barbara asked.
“13 miles?”
“Hahahahaha! 13 miles is not a long distance!” Barbara laughed at me.
Now listen. I know that running 13 miles does not a long distance runner make. But I didn’t say I was a long distance runner. I said I was running longer distances. And for me, 13 miles is a hell of a long distance. I got really upset that this person who was supposed to be relaxing me was agitating me.
She was acting like I was a poor idiot who doesn’t know better, when it reality I did a lot of research, went to the doctor (more than many runners do), went to a specialty running store and consulted with many other runners. I reiterated that I went to the doctor and that it happens to my friends.
“Any friend that tells you this is common is NOT a real friend.“
WHAT. Now the massage person is telling me who my friends are?! Then she went on more! “Are you a member of NYRR Clinic?” she asked. I am a member of NYRR but I had no idea what she is talking about so I said no. She said, “Well you get yourself to NYRR Clinic — they will tell you this is not normal, it is not common and it is a very bad thing.“
By this point I was almost in tears.
I have never been so relieved for a massage to end. Usually the hour goes by way too quickly but in this case, it felt like 10 hours of torture. And the massage itself sucked too, not that that even matters at this point.
I want to mention I also had a pedicure and that person was so nice about my situation and said she sees lots of runners there and was familiar with black toenails. After all, it just means that blood is pooled under the skin. NOT a big deal.
I did complain to the front desk. Although I was trying to be nice about it when I spoke to them (I didn’t even give her as bad a tip as I should have), but the more I think about it now, the angrier I get. I should have walked out of the room sooner and not even finished. How dare she? All I was doing was paying for massage and she just couldn’t let it go. Barbara overstepped her boundaries and was completely out of her place and made me so uncomfortable on a day that was supposed to be relaxing at a fancy spa. I know she was trying to be helpful, but that was not the time or the place. She could have approached me later on if she was truly concerned. Instead, she chose to ruin my expensive (even with a deal, it was not cheap) massage.
Thoughts?
____________________________________________________________________________
Update: The spa has offered a complimentary massage to make up for this experience. 🙂
katherine
March 30, 2010 at 11:44 am (15 years ago)Where did you get this massage?!?!!? As someone entering the profession, I can tell you with 100% certainty this woman is an abomination. First of all, a massage therapist should listen to your requests and massage the areas that need the most attention. Second, a massage therapist should NEVER make comments or pass judgement about any part of your body. Ever. I don’t know how else to make it clearer, but she was entirely out of line in making these comments. It’s such an inexcusable violation of trust and lack of consideration for your comfort and personal privacy. The shoes you wear and how far you run are your business, and you’re a freaking superwoman for running that half, btw.
The only time she should have spoken up is if you had ASKED for her advice. I’ve asked massage therapists for stretching suggestions before and they’ve been very helpful, but they’ve never given unsolicited advice and absolutely never “diagnosed” a problem and insisted I treat it a certain way.
I hope you write a letter to the spa detailing your experience and never ever be afraid of speaking up in a massage again. It’s so common to feel like you’re just supposed to lay there and take it b/c the therapist knows best, but that’s not true. It’s your body and if the therapist is doing or saying something that doesn’t feel right, you should absolutely speak up!
Also, black toenails are totally common. I’ve found ways of minimizing mine, but some runners will just always get them. Don’t sweat it!
eatdrinkandbemerrynyc
March 30, 2010 at 11:46 am (15 years ago)Gahh I hate this story! I have two normal toenails back after MANY lost nails, black toenails, THREE LAYERS OF DISGUSTING-NESS and other mishaps. She needs to get a grip!!!
Sara
Heather (Heather's Dish)
March 30, 2010 at 11:55 am (15 years ago)i must say i’d be pretty agitated too…whether the issue is a very real problem or not, she’s not a medical physician and should have stopped giving unsolicited advice when you said you had already been to a doctor. i’m so sorry your massage was horrible! they should give you a free one with a different therapist for putting up with her!
Janna
March 30, 2010 at 12:11 pm (15 years ago)Whattt? How do you find these people??
Pulease, when I ran “short” distances, like 4 or 5 miles I got black toenails. They ARE common and they’re really NOT a big deal. Even if she was just trying to help it was 1) none of her business and 2) she was SO rude, how does that help???
You definitely should have gotten another massage FREE with another therapist!
Britt @ Runnerbelle
March 30, 2010 at 12:16 pm (15 years ago)Ugh…. how sucky. A crappy massage, a judgmental massage therapist and you getting upset! Chalk it up to her being an idiot. You should listen to your doctor and all the other experts you have spoken too. I have had my fair share of black toenails. It happens. She obviously doesn’t know any real runners, otherwise she would know they are very common.
Heather Karlsberg
March 30, 2010 at 12:22 pm (15 years ago)Are you kidding???? I as laughing as I read this however this is absoultely not good! You need to clear up this mess with the customer service and the service you barely received. Call them and write a letter
Ashley
March 30, 2010 at 1:13 pm (15 years ago)You NEED to call, go in or email the spa again. That is very unprofessional and whether it is a cheap spa or expensive one that should not happen. I have a hidden gem massage place in our neighborhood…I’ll email you =)
Ashley
March 30, 2010 at 1:22 pm (15 years ago)So the thing I hate is that I too had a similar experience at this spa. However, they emailed me later letting me know that she had been let go as she wasn’t a “good fit” with their equity. Don’t you hate when you feel like you need another massage just to relax?!
caitlin
March 30, 2010 at 1:25 pm (15 years ago)link to the massage parlor!
ps 13 miles is most definitely long distance.
kalli@fitandfortysomething.com
March 30, 2010 at 2:16 pm (15 years ago)jeez what a downer and during a massage? hello running 13 miles and training for 13 is long distance. sorry that happened to you 🙁
Ellen
March 30, 2010 at 3:09 pm (15 years ago)WHOA! That’s completely unacceptable. I had a similar situation (though to a far, far lesser degree) when getting a post-marathon massage after I lost a toe nail. Like you, I was almost completely taken aback, and the full impact didn’t set in until after I had left. You are right in this situation, and you know what is best for you. I can’t believe this woman kept going without realizing this was exceptionally uncomfortable for you. In an industry where it’s so important to read your clients, it’s appalling that she could not pick up on social cues. You were paying her for a massage – that’s it. Keep in mind, that you may not have been the only person to experience such a poor quality of service there. I’m glad you told the front desk. It may be helpful to call again, or write a review for the spa on Yelp or something. I’m so sorry you had such an awful experience!
— On a side note, I’m not sure where you went, but I did eventually find a spa in Manhattan that consistently gives me great post-race massages. And they do appreciate that 13 miles IS a long distance 🙂
Chris J
March 30, 2010 at 6:41 pm (15 years ago)Hi.
Firstly, 13miles is long.
Secondly, I feel black toe nails are really common BUT not normal and not to be accepted. Although some people are more sensitive I think you need to find the correct shoes and or insoles to lessen the overpronation.
I used to get sports massages but when my regular one left I had one with the replacement and it was similar, too “lite” and all over when I wanted legs! But I returned and once they get to know you they get to know what you require and your pain threshold!
Dori
March 30, 2010 at 8:21 pm (15 years ago)Hi Chris,
I actually got specially fitted at Jack Rabbit Sports in NYC. They analyzed my gait on a video treadmill and determined that I overpronate. I bought sneakers designed to help with my alignment. In addition, I got custom orthotics to further assist my pronation. However, I have extremely sensitive skin (a few years ago I needed blister surgery!) so blood blisters are just going to happen for me regardless. Thanks for your suggestions!
Jen, a priorfatgirl
March 30, 2010 at 7:33 pm (15 years ago)oh my gosh Dori! That massage was suppose to be relaxing – and it definitely was NOT! How horrible! I am speechless!
Not only her response but the fact that, holy Bejesus, 13 miles is FOREVER!
Lindsay
March 30, 2010 at 9:47 pm (15 years ago)Please go back to the salon and tell them about how badly she treated you. Thirteen miles is SOOO much farther than I could ever run. You deserve to be treated with respect and she did not give you that!! I would totally recommend that you go back and ask for a refund or some compensation!!
Kat
March 30, 2010 at 10:36 pm (15 years ago)That is such BULLCRAP!!! It was so lame of her to give you unsolicited advice (if you can even call it that), laugh in your face about your accomplishments and things you’re clearly well-versed in…she’s obviously socially retarded and a poor example of what someone in her position should do for their clients. I’m so sorry you went through that. 🙁
MelissaNibbles
March 31, 2010 at 8:39 am (15 years ago)Wow…what a bitch. I’m sorry you had such a bad experience 🙁
Andrea
March 31, 2010 at 9:37 am (15 years ago)I am stunned at the lack of professionalism that this woman showed. That is ridiculous!
cassie
March 31, 2010 at 11:18 am (15 years ago)yikes! you’re right. so rude! they better comp you another massage 🙂
Gracie (complicated day)
March 31, 2010 at 1:30 pm (15 years ago)I think you should have had a sudden Charlie Horse and kicked her in the chin.
Jess - The Domestic Vegan
March 31, 2010 at 1:35 pm (15 years ago)Holy cats! What a story!
My thoughts are: Barbara is a bitch. Sorry, harsh, I know – but who the f does she think she is? You are SO right – you were PAYING for a massage. PAYING to be treated to relaxation & rejuvenation. And instead, you got a lecture & a condescending attitude. I am mad FOR you. How disappointing & infuriating! I really do like to give people the benefit of the doubt, and I’d LIKE to say that Barbara meant well… But by the sounds of your story, she is a know-it-all & wanted to make you feel silly/stupid/uninformed. She should have dropped it as soon as she sensed you getting defensive, or if she was truly concerned, brought it up after the massage. RUDE RUDE RUDE.
And just for the record, 13 miles is a long distance in my eyes! That is a REALLY long distance in my eyes, and Barbara shouldn’t have tried to diminish that huge accomplishment! I feel proud when I run 5 miles. Hell, I ran 4 miles yesterday & felt pretty great about myself! Screw Barbara.
Kim
March 31, 2010 at 11:03 pm (15 years ago)All I can say is: damn, what a bitch.
Shelley
April 1, 2010 at 12:07 am (15 years ago)How unprofessional, I certainly wouldn’t be going back there! Hopefully your complaint got dealt with properly.
I’ve had black toenails from just walking to long so it’s not “abnormal”, this lady is the one that isn’t normal 😛
This is my first comment, but I’ve been reading your blog for a week or two now (I found it through Missy Maintains), very inspirational for us wanna be runners out there!
Shannon
April 1, 2010 at 6:44 am (15 years ago)Wow! What inappropriate comments! I’m glad you said something at the front desk. 13 miles is a long distance and quite an accomplishment!
Angela @ A Healthy Fit
April 1, 2010 at 8:54 am (15 years ago)I cannot believe that massage lady was so RUDE to you! Black toenails are totally common in runners and she should have just kept her mouth shut and given you a massage. That is her job, not to give you medical advice or tell you who your friends are. I wish you would have walked out on her!!
Lauren
April 2, 2010 at 1:26 pm (15 years ago)Wow, I’m so sorry that you had such a bad experience. Massages are supposed to be relaxing and she was just making you anxious about something that you don’t even need to worry about! A lot of people get black toe nails. It isn’t the end of the world, or even a big deal. That just sounds so upsetting, but you shouldn’t let it get to you. You know from trustworthy sources that there is nothing wrong with your toes, and that 13 miles is a long run.
caronae
April 3, 2010 at 11:23 am (15 years ago)Oh my goodness that sounds awful! I think youo are totally right to be upset about it. First of all, she’s wrong; 13 miles IS a long distance, and the toenail issue IS normal (I have them, for one)! And the massage/spa should be relaxing. She sounds a bit crazy!
Good luck with the next race!
Bridget@PavementandPlants
April 4, 2010 at 3:38 pm (15 years ago)Oh my god! I cannot believe this!!! I have missing toenails from running and after awhile, there’s nothing you can do about them. I hope your next experience is better.
What a B*tch!
Katherine
April 4, 2010 at 10:20 pm (15 years ago)I have had a black toenail for so long, I forget that it’s even there and that other people think it’s unsightly. The first time it happened, my high school running coach looked at me unapologetically and said, “well, now you can call yourself a runner.”
Katherine
whataboutsummer
Marci
April 5, 2010 at 10:34 am (15 years ago)I agree with everyone else, Barbara is a B**** and hugely unprofessional!! I have gotten black toenails too, totally normal.
Lindsey @ Eat, Read, Run
April 6, 2010 at 2:05 pm (15 years ago)The least they could do is offer you a complimentary massage! But it better sure as he$$ not be with Barbara! The nerve of that woman. You certainly have more patience than me – I think I would have gotten up and walked out on this terrible woman. Before I make a massage appt in the future (if ever), I am finding out the name of this place from you and not going there!
Julie @ Peanut Butter Fingers
April 6, 2010 at 3:20 pm (15 years ago)who in their right mind laughs at 13 miles!? good lord! i think 99.9% of the american public would agree that 13 miles is a VERY long distance. barbara deserves a lil’ smack. 😉
Katie
April 6, 2010 at 4:04 pm (15 years ago)That is so bizarre! But as to the shoe size question… I started running in shoes that are 1/2 size bigger, and although they’re a little loose when I walk, I noticed a HUGE difference while running- my toes don’t get pinched anymore! They look like shoes for giants, but my feet are pretty big already. Anyway, sorry about that weird “spa” experience… I did spa week last week too.
Cal_runner
April 22, 2010 at 3:37 am (15 years ago)Hello there,
Perhaps you can see if one of those shoes with a “wider” toe box will help you. I think you can go to the local running store and ask to try on “Wide” shoes. The shoe sizes themselves may have a “W” beside it.
I have short wide feet and have been running half marathons for a while now, and never had a black big toe. So, those wide shoes can really help you.
Congrats on the half marathons!
Dori
April 22, 2010 at 8:30 pm (15 years ago)Thanks for the suggestion — I actually have the narrowest feet, like, ever. Super tiny! So I slide back and forth in wide shoes, which would cause a whole lot more blistering. But my new Karhu shoes seem to be a tiny bit wider in the toes!
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