I knew when I got to the half mile marker and the clock said 3 minutes and something seconds that I was going way, way too fast.

Let’s back up a minute.

Last night I went to my friend’s engagement party at a bar in the city. She reserved a private room with its own bartender, how cool! I didn’t get to stay long — and I completely missed seeing Missy — because I had to get home to get a good night’s sleep for the Continental Airlines 5th Avenue Mile today.

My alarm went off at 7:10 am and I got out of bed and make a green juice. Today’s juice contained apple, celery, cucumber and broccoli.I got dressed and stretched. I must say, I thought I looked quite cute!

I had a choice between walking or taking the bus to the race. I had plenty of time, but because I am absolutely insane when it comes to time, I took the bus. I figured it would be better to be early and relaxed than early and stressed. See, even if I walked, I would have been early. Like I said, I am insane when it comes to time.

I got to the race with about an hour until my heat, so I stretched and walked around and tried to find a spot in the sun because it was cold out! I was not envious of all the people in tank tops and shorts. I was content in my capris and running jacket! I kept looking around for Sara and Ashley, two girls I know who were at the race too, but didn’t see either of them.

The first group to race was wheelchair and handbikes. I live right along the NYC Marathon route, and for some reason I’ve only watched the race early on where those are the only people out there! After they went, it was the kids’ heat, ages 8-14. How adorable! I felt so proud of all those kids! I wish I could have raced at that age.

Finally, it was my time for my group, women 15-29. Since I was alone and bored, I was among the first people to line up at the Start line. As a result, I was probably starting a bit further up than was best for me. I kept looking around for Sara, since we were talking on BBM before I left for the race, but she was nowhere to be found! I figured I’d seek her out after.

I got my Nike + iPod ready and before I knew it the gun went off to start the race.

And here is where the problems started.

As I’ve mentioned from my previous races, when I see a finish line, my body sprints. What I didn’t mention is that when a gun fires to signal the start of a race, my body seems to have the same auto response. SPRINT.

NOT GOOD! Not good, not good, not good. I made a glorious playlist of 3 of the same song — Say Hey (I Love You) by Michael Franti (I saw him live at the Counting Crows concert and knew this needed to be my all time favorite running song). When I run and that song comes on, I immediately smile and feel happy and my run becomes more fun and amazing. I am also running at a comfortable pace for me (close to 11 min/mi) and can usually speed up a bit during this song. But today, I barely heard the music.

I took off with the gun and tried to escape the crowd. Why? I don’t need to escape the crowd right away. I can always pick up my speed later on, and anyone who runs knows that it is much easier to increase your speed during a run than it is to maintain a fast speed throughout. And not only did I try and escape the crowd, I separated myself from everyone and moved all the way to the side to run as fast as I can with no one in front of me. Ummm. What did I do!

I guess in my head I knew that I posted for you all the goal I set for myself — 8:50. I didn’t want to come back here and report I didn’t achieve it. But let me tell you, I am not making any more time goals until I am a better runner. Going forward, my goal will be to enjoy myself and have fun and love that my body can run any distance I choose. More on that in a minute.

Anyway, I had this time goal and it was in my head. I felt fine the first few seconds of my insane speedwork, and then I didn’t. Very soon into the run, I felt absolutely awful. I started counting the blocks I had left. The great thing about this course is that it went from 80th street to 60th street, so I always knew exactly how much was left and when you see blocks like this, they go quickly. I really was not feeling well. I was not enjoying my music. I was not feeling happy. I felt pain in my chest and had trouble breathing.

I knew when I got to the half mile marker and the clock said 3 minutes and something seconds that I was going way, way too fast.

I had already slowed down greatly by then, but seeing that time turned my legs to jelly and I felt myself slow down more, as people kept passing me by. I was annoyed with myself because if I just started out at a comfortable pace, I’d have been feeling awesome and maintaining and surpassing my pace. Now, I just wanted the race to be over. I very briefly considered walking off and DQing, but it was only a mile and I was almost there and I knew I could just finish it.

I kept running and when I saw the finish line, I did speed up but I was unable to achieve my usual sprint. I was just too burnt out.

When I ran through the finish line, the time above me (still waiting on official chip time) read 7:52 or 7:53 (Edited to add — scroll to the bottom to see my official chip time!!!). I beat my goal time by almost an entire minute. And I felt awful.

I stopped the very second I could, before I even got to the second time recording pad on the ground. I hoped the first one was good enough to record my time. I simply could not run anymore. I immediately hunched over and tried to figure out how to handle the burning pain radiating in my chest and banging in my ears. My head felt like it was going to explode from the ear pain. I couldn’t stand up straight and I could barely walk. I found myself in a massive sea of girls all trying to get into the park and I needed to escape and lie down and I couldn’t be there a second longer.

Only I forgot that the souvenier was an aluminum water bottle, and I couldn’t understand why I was in such a crowd. Then I heard one girl say to the other “Water bottles are over there — that’s what we wanted!” and in my pain and disorientation, I thought she meant they were passing up the free cups of water sitting on tables for a bottle of spring water. It wasn’t until later on that I realized what they were talking about.

All that mattered was getting home and laying down down. I needed to get out of this sea of people. I grabbed a bagel that they were giving out and escaped the crowd and headed home.

On the other side of the street, I stopped and sat down on the edge of a flower thing. The pain in my chest was unbearable. It was stinging and ringing (if that is possible) and burning and beating and I couldn’t breathe and I felt worse than I ever have. The pain was pounding on my chest. And then I started coughing. Coughs that came from my chest and sounded… well… chesty. Heavy.

What was wrong with me?! Is this something that just happens when you push yourself too hard? Did I run so fast that I . . . got a cold? I don’t get it.

A block later I realized I ate half the bagel. I took a bite at this point and realized it was a chocolate chip bagel! YUM! I can’t believe I ate half of a chocolate chip bagel and didn’t notice the delicious sensations in my mouth. Just goes to show how out of it I was. I wasn’t wearing my heart rate monitor, but I am so curious as to what my max HR was during this rest. I’d guess it was well over 200 BPM.

At that point my chest was still burning but I was able to enjoy my bagel, which showed a great improvement in my condition. The burning, while still bad, was slightly less debilitating. And I was able to better walk. When I got home, I didn’t even feel the immediate need to collapse in bed anymore! The cough did not subside though, and every time I cough or laugh, I feel the burning pain and scratchiness (the boy says it sounds like I have a scratch, which explains the scratchiness I guess). When I breathe in, I feel the scratchiness. And I lost my voice. But the pain is not constant and I am SO thankful for that. It was such a horrible feeling, I hope none of you never have to feel this from running. Running, which is supposed to be fun!

Let’s hope I am never chased by an angry dog because after 7 minutes and 53 seconds, the dog would have his dinner.

As awful as I felt during and after the race, I came out of this experience with a new attitude:

From now on, I will NOT set time goals in races. I will ONLY run to enjoy myself, have fun, love my music, love the scenery. If I am feeling good during race, I can always speed up. But why do I need to prove I am fast when I am brand new to running?! I’ve only been running for  few months. I have plenty of time to naturally become faster. For now, I get the most enjoyment out of my runs when I go very slowy. For my upcoming 5 mile race, I have no goal time. (I used to have one, but I will not share it with you because I don’t want to pressure to achieve it.) I will run slowly. When I see the finish line, I will SPRINT. If I want to speed up during the race, I will. If I don’t think it will make me feel great, I won’t.

I need to give myself time to improve as a runner. My first priority should be challenging myself with distance and learning how to pace myself to get the most out of my run. Speed can come later.

But when all is said and done . . .

I RAN A MILE IN 7:52 or 3-ish!!!!

EDITED TO ADD: Please scroll to the bottom to see my OFFICIAL chip time!

Will post chip time as soon as I get it. I plan to run this race again next year, and I do not plan to PR. I just want to enjoy it — enjoy 5th avenue enjoy the short distance, enjoy my music, feel well enough to stick around after and pick up my souvenier! Speaking of the souvenier . . . my friend Sara who ran the race also volunteered there, and for volunteering she got a second souvenier water bottle — which she generously offered to give to me when I told her I didn’t get one! I am happy to have a souvenier of my race; I deserve it! Thank you, Sara!

To give you all an idea of my run, click here (does Nike not offer the option to embed the pic in here anymore??) and you can see my starting line sprint! Oh and my Nike + recored this as 0.88 miles. I decided I will definitely upgrade my Polar to one that records distance. If I send in my current HRM, I can get about 20% off a new one, so I plan to do this and toss my Nike +! Until then, the Nike + is a nice estimate. Later today, nyrr.org will post more information about the race, including photos and videos. Maybe I’ll have something else to share with you!

As much as this morning’s race sucked, I am happy I did it and learned not to worry about time at this stage in my running experience. I learned that my body does not want to be pushed to do more than it is ready for, and with time my body WILL be ready to run fast.

Now I can look forward to many more fun races! More fun than this one and more fun because I now know how to enjoy myself while running.

Edited to add: I just found out my chip time. I completed the 1 mile race in 7:46!!!!!

7:46! No wonder I hurt so much. I beat my goal time by one minute and 4 seconds. Yet I am happy now. But no more goal times! 🙂

(Nike+ sensor says my pace was 8:54… pretty off, huh. I also realized there ws no starting chip time at my first 5K, so the time must have actually been less than 28:46 and my pace a little less than 9:16. Cool.)

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