My tummy, some food and Simba

Simba just said the word “doctor” 4 times in a one minute phone call. More than one person have suggested that might have a form of tourette’s. It really does seem he cannot control his sounds. But, that doesn’t change the fact he annoys the hell out of me. I do plan on bringing in my noice canceling headphones on Monday. Hopefully I remember. I forgot them today.

Enough about him. A little about me. For the last year and a half, I have been having mostly unexplained tummy problems. All the foods I used to love — salad, veggies, oatmeal, fruits, wheat bread, brown rice — have had to vanish from my diet because my stomach just can’t tolerate them. It has been a very hard time for me. I am always in some form of pain or discomfort, I am tempted by foods I can’t eat and sometimes eat them anyway and regret it after. Going to the gym after work has become impossible because once there is food in my belly I am rendered useless, so I am forced to go in the mornings. This reduces the amount of time I can spend in the gym since I don’t want to wake up insanely early but have to be out of there at a certain time to get ready. I have gained 10 pounds since this started, but it all happened at once last year and has remained steady since then. A few times, I have had to leave work during the day to buy new clothes because what fit me in the morning when I  got dressed no longer fit me after I ate lunch.

I have seen quite a few doctors about this. I am finally on track to finding out the exact problem. For those of you with thoughts or suggestions, I do want to mention that I have had MANY tests done, including 2 CT scans, 2 colonoscopies, a CCK HIDA scan, an Upper GI Series w/Small Bowel Follow Through, a Gastric Emptying Study, an endoscopy and an anorectal manometry.  Among the things I DON’T have are Celiac, pelvic floor dysfunction, bacterial overgrowth, a gallbladder problem and other things that I don’t even remember. I am about to go for another test next week that should pinpoint what a few doctors believe is the problem – my small intestine. Once that is hopefully confirmed, we can try and figure out what to do to treat this and HOPEFULLY I will begin to get better… I am hopeful but I don’t expect any miracles. 

Since things have gotten worse the last few months though, I have been really frustrated and sick of this and honestly, I can’t imagine living my entire life suffering like this. I just don’t see how that would be possible. I’ve been more upset about it lately and crying more often. I’m not depressed, I am just fed up. Especially with the holidays and all the food that’s been around and the way my body just can’t handle it. I just want to go back to being normal again.

And this has taken a MAJOR toll on my social life. I haven’t been able to go out and have fun with my friends. Just the idea of getting dressed and squeezing into clothes is enough to send me running for my pajamas and cozy bed. Eating makes me so lethargic and listless so when I do attempt going out, I am dead tired and just need to go home early to bed. Also, I can’t really drink anymore because of this. Meals at restaurants are impossible as well, so I just haven’t been a great friend lately.

So there’s my condensed story. There is much more to it but I won’t get into it here or now. But there is so much food at work these days!

Some of the treats at work this week:

• Brownies
• Cookies
• Baklava
• Fudge!
• Lindts (I love the hazelnut ones)
• Leonidas chocolates (crack)
• Rugelach

And more. And today there is cuban food – odd, I know, but true! Which means I will have to battle my frenemy, FLAN. I will lose. I always lose.  I did work out yesterday after work for an hour, in pain, to cancel out the brownie I had. I also worked out in the morning before work for 40 minutes, so it was my second one of the day. But let me tell you, exercising with food in me is torture. And really, the problem isn’t the calories I consumed — it’s the actual food that is just… there, in me.

Another issue I have had since all my medical problems started is trying to stay healthy. I have always cared about making healthy choices. I loved oatmeal for breakfast with fruit in it, salad for lunch with lots of yummy ingredients, lots of whole grains and nuts and high fiber snacks. Now, all those foods kill my stomach – especially lettuce and apples. If I eat a few pieces of lettuce, I will be immensely bloated for 2 days. Can’t close any pants, not even the zipper. Not exaggerating. So I eat what I know I can, and then it leaves me hungry. So when the snacks are out here, I take them. I can’t even think enough to stop myself. Sigh.

Okay, this was my most personal blog entry to date. Like I said, I plan to write more, and there are only so many witty observations I can make. So I will be incorporating my life into this more.