As you are all well aware, last weekend marked the end of two major investment banks. I happen to work at one of those. Which means that my job, which I really love, will soon come to an end. And as a result I am so sad… so bad… so sad. Okay, enough of the solo Beatles quotes. But really, I am very, very sad.
So when I spoke about this with people — namely guys — they would say things like:
You’ll live
Don’t be upset, it could be worse
You’ll be fine
You’ll be ok
And on and on and on… and usually it’s the same person saying the same thing over and over. It irritated and frustrated me. I want to know why can’t I be sad? Yes, I know I will live. I never said I wouldn’t. Yes, I know it could be worse, I never said it couldn’t. I know I will be fine. I know I will be okay. I never said otherwise. All I said was “I am sad.”
Why are people so offended when I say that? Also, telling me I’ll live doesn’t do anything to stop the fact that I feel sad. I can’t help how I feel. Stop telling me I have no right to feel the way I feel.
I am sad because I love my job, I love the people, I am finally happy. I had hoped to spend years here. I had hoped to establish my career here. So, yes, I am sad that I will have to leave a job and people that I love. People that threw me an anniversary party. People that I can always go to with any question and not worry about sounding stupid. An environment that makes me enjoy coming to work every day. And yes, I know that things happen and there is nothing we can do to control it. But I can still feel the way I feel, even knowing this.
Please, stop telling me not to be sad.
Jenny
September 25, 2008 at 3:53 pm (16 years ago)Prehaps don’t vent to guys
Jenny
September 25, 2008 at 3:59 pm (16 years ago)Perhaps* 😉
Dori
September 25, 2008 at 5:55 pm (16 years ago)It’s not exactly venting when someone asks “how are you doing with the merger” and my response is “sad.”Venting typically requires something a bit longer-winded, possibly empassioned. But thanks for the “advice”
robin
September 27, 2008 at 2:23 pm (16 years ago)dori doodles, i totally feel your pain. be sad. that\’s the appropriate reaction. it\’s like when people tell me to get over being deported, breaking up with the love of my life, losing my job and having a rhumatoid illness that is debilitating and possibly life shortening. really? it will be fine? stop dwelling? THANKS FOR THE ADVICE. ugh.
love you.
Source
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