My pants are falling down.

The same pants that not long ago I couldn’t even close. For the first time in almost two years, I actually need a belt.

I remember one morning in September, 2007, I was walking to work and my pants were falling down so much that I felt uncomfortable. I had to stop in to Century 21 in the morning where I bought 2 thin dress pant belts. I wore one that day and maybe a couple more.

I haven’t worn the belts since September, 2007. Shortly after that is when my GI problems really hit their stride and took over my body, leaving me bloated and pounds heavier. And uncomfortable in a way MUCH different — and worse — than my pants falling down. After working with countless gastroenterologists and a nutritionist, I found myself just as uncomfortable as ever with little to no relief. I purchased maternity pants as well as pants a few sizes larger than I am. Yes, the pants were humongous in my legs and butt, but they were the only thing that could close around my stomach.

I have had to leave work during the day a number of times to buy new clothing because whatever I was wearing became too uncomfortable and binding to continue wearing.

And now, I am wearing a pair of pants — in my own (old?) size that are so loose fitting they are actually falling down. And this time I am not running out to buy any belts. I am embracing it! And I can’t stop smiling.

So what changed so quickly for me?

For the last three days I have not eaten a single thing. I did the ever popular Blueprint Cleanse!

I originally read about this on One Gillian Reasons as reason #46 to live well. At first, I skimmed it and disregarded it. Then I went back for another look and was completely intrigued. I thought it might be a good idea for me and started considering it. I did some research and found so many articles about people’s (positive) experiences and read the Blueprint Cleanse website. Then my friend Melissa at  Fitness NYC posted her review. Turns out that when I was with her at the Nalini Method, she was in the middle of her cleanse. I had no idea! After reading Melissa’s review, I decided to go for it.

I could buy my own juices each day for a cheaper price, but this made it so easy for me. Prepackaged, already there when I want it, in an order that is there for a purpose. BPC’s motto is We Think, You Drink and it couldn’t have been said better.

Everyone has their own reasons for doing this cleanse. While Chrissie, who wrote the guest post at One Gillian Reasons wanted to lose some extra weight, Melissa wanted to stop her crap food cravings and get back into healthful, whole foods. My main reason was a bit more medical: I was determined to give my nerve-damaged intestines a REST and see how I feel when my body isn’t struggling. You see, when I eat, my body struggles. It is as simple as that. There are constant sounds coming from my tummy. Strange sounds. Not like any you’ve ever experienced, likely. That is because my body is trying so hard to function normally when it just can’t. The nerve damage prevents that from happening, but my body keeps pushing. As a result, I feel bloated, uncomfortable, pain, nauseous, lethargic, heavy and overall yuck. All the time.

The juices are pressed in a special hydraulic press that retains 3-5 times the vitamins and minerals than juices from other juicing machines. The nutrients go directly into your bloodstream, with no effort at all needed from your digestive system!  Your body will take a break from digesting food and expend its efforts into doing the rest of its job. I was ready to feel normal, at least for a few days. To feel no pain. No discomfort. To feel light. To close my pants.

The other potential benefits were enticing as well, according to Blueprint Cleanse:

Possible Benefits:

* Boosts immune system
* Alleviates allergies
* Improves thyroid function
* Provides rest for the digestive organs
* Encourages physical rejuvenation
* Promotes normalized weight
* Promotes normalized blood pressure
* Reverses signs of aging
* Elevates mood and sex drive
* Alleviates symptoms of PMS
* Promotes clear skin
* Increases energy
* Increases fertility
* Combats viruses
* Suppresses Fibromyalgia symptoms
* Saves money you would have otherwise spent on “that new antibiotic.”

And of course, there is a weight loss aspect to the cleanse as well, although they don’t specifically tout that on the site. The Blueprint Cleanse is marketed as a health detox, not a quick-fix weight loss solution.

That said, when you drink nothing but juice for 3 days or more, you’re gonna lose weight. More on that below.

I chose the Level 3 Excavation Cleanse — the most intense cleanse — for three days. I took advantage of BPC’s Mind Body Upgrade with Exhale Spa, because the package included a 60 minute massage (or a 60 minute facial or 30 min acu organ detox) plus 3 Core Fusion or Yoga classes — all for just $100 more. The massage alone costs $120 and each class is $35. Well worth the price. And you know I love my Core Fusion! They recommend you get your spa treatment and take your classes during the time of your cleanse, but unfortunately that wasn’t possible for me. I did get the massage during the Cleanse (which helps eliminate toxins) but I didn’t have time to take my CF classes during the cleasne. I did take one bright and early this morning!

The Excavation level has the most green juice and none of the fruit juices (the photo above shows Level 1). First timers are encouraged to start with Level 1 or 2 which will be easier to take in with the sweetness. I chose Level 3 because I drink green juice all the time and quite enjoy it; I figured, why not avoid juices with a higher glycemic index and reap the most benefits I can? Each day there were four green vegetable juices, one spicy lemonade and one cashew milk to drink. The order went as follows:

Green Juice
Green Juice with Ginger
Green Juice
Spicy Lemonade
Green Juice
Cashew Milk

Each day’s juice came in its own cooler, which I will have to send back to BPC in the FedEx envelope they enclosed. The order of the drinks is set up for maximum digestion benefits.

And now, I will recap my experience each day.

Day 1

I woke up not  feeling well. Before I even starting drinking the juices. Not a good sign.

I started the day with hot water to “get things moving” as BPC says and once I got to work I popped open the first green juice. The juices are clearly labeled 1 through 6, which makes it truly dummy-proof. Almost. I actually thought the juices were impossibly hard to open and spent a great deal of time fighting with them before I realized that I had to remove this outer seal and then the cap opens easily. What did we learn, kids? Nothing is too dummy-proof for me.

As I said, I drink green juice all the time. I also drink green juice from bottles that look just like the BPC bottles, from a place called Juice Generation. And I love them.  I heard complaints from others about the BPC green juice — mainly that the taste of celery and cucumbers are overpowering. I wasn’t concerned.

And then I tried it.

There was certainly no overpowering taste of celery. I couldn’t even taste it at all. There was, however, a sickly sweet taste to the juice. It did’t taste like the green juice I know and love. And since I was nauseous already, it was extremely hard to get down. By the time I left work, I hadn’t even gotten through my second juice. I wasn’t hungry at all. This was not a BPC issue though, since I woke up feeling sick, as I said.

Luckily for me, I had my massage at Exhale that night! It was the 60 minute Fusion Massage. From ExhaleSpa.com:

Combining the best of therapeutic massage practices from around the world, this Swedish-based therapy uses specific rhythmic massage movements and potent herbal and aromatherapy oils, which enhance the therapeutic effect. Choose from an uplifting, detoxifying or relaxing blend.

Each of those blends had a scent. I smelled them all and opted  for unscented.  The masseuse was older and had grey hair, so I was a little worried at first. My worry soon faded. The massage was AMAZING! Really, really great. I was so happy with it. The table or the blankets on the table or something was heated and felt so nice and warm. The entire massage was just perfect. Also, I had the “Wood” herb tea while I was there and it was delicious as well.

Herb tea is something you are encouraged to drink while on BPC, in addition to lots and lots of water. I left Exhale and on my walk home the cravings started: greasy chinese food (chicken with broccoli and FRIED rice) and quesadillas. I started having crazy thoughts: I used to get chicken with broccoli combination plate with fried rice for lunch after school all the time my senior year of high school while watching Passions on the TV and I was healthy and happy and it was so delicious and then after I finished eating I would take a nap or watch more TV and it was delicious. Also, I want to go to a Mexican restaurant and get quesadillas! Mmmm melted cheese and chicken with sour cream and guacamole. Oh yeah and I want Chinese food too! An entire feast! All for ME!

By the time I got home the thoughts subsided. It was on the later side and I was extremely tired. I skipped juices 3, 4 and 5 because I wasn’t hungry for them (despite my fried rice and quesadilla cravings) and because of the time. You’re supposed to drink the last juice no later than 2 hours before bed. I was looking forward to the cashew milk as I heard it was delicious. I considered it my reward for the day and knew I would be going to bed shortly.

Then the boy ordered dinner. I became extremely jealous. It was so hard for me to not order with him, and not sit down with him when his food arrived. If I sat down, I would have taken a bite. I know me! And really, I just MISSED food. It had only been a day, but I truly missed food. I began craving an ell roll wrapped in cucumber, no rice.

I ignored the craving and opened the cashew milk for nourishment. OH the cashew milk is DELICIOUS! Made with cashews, agave nectar, cinnamon, vanilla and water, it is truly a treat. It is also very filling and the perfect dessert. It redeemed the rest of my day and I fell asleep (not 2 hours but maybe 15 minutes, oops!) content. I was a little concerned that I missed out on the nutrients from all the juices I failed to drink, but at least I didn’t cheat and had nothing else all day.

Day 2

Only two days left to go! I was psyched that I  got through Day 1 without starving. The green juice was slightly more tolerable but still not my cup of tea. The green juice with ginger was much better, which is funny since I can’t stand ginger in my food. It was perfect here because it masked some of the sweetness. I did like the burst of cucumber flavor that occurred immediately at the end of each swallow of the juice. But then the sickly aftertaste arrived. Sigh.

I made it through 3 green juices by the time work ended. I wasn’t nauseous this day — but I still wasn’t hungry at ALL. Normally, I eat breakfast and then an hour later I feel very hungry. I eat lunch at 12 on the dot because I am so hungry and then shortly after I need a snack. And so on and so forth. With these juices, I experienced NONE of that hunger. I might not have been satisfied, but I certainly wasn’t hungry. My Chinese food and quesadilla cravings were replaced by TACO cravings! Not ouf of hunger, just out of wanting to chew on deliciousness. I was daydreaming about tacos with lots of cheese piled on top. Mmmmmm….

Every time I saw someone on the street eating (and I noticed this much more than I ever do) I felt intense pangs of jealousy. I saw a guy coming into the office with a bag of lunch and though “WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS!” Seeing people eat like it was no big deal was getting to me. I was jealous that they could put food in their mouths and just… chew!

Anyway.

After work I started drinking my spicy lemonade. It was all right, but I didn’t love it. I went to Physical Therapy and then got  home and took another sip from my lemonade (drink 4 out of 6) and decided it would soon be time for bed and therefore it is time for cashew milk! There was no time for the rest of the lemonade or the last green juice, and honestly, I wasn’t hungry enough for them anyway. So I skipped most of juice 4 and all of 5.

I settled in bed with my cashew milk and Revolutionary Road (which took me a long time to get into but now I am finally into it) and became so full and tired that I wasn’t able to finish the milk! I put it back in the fridge and soon after went to bed. Again, I failed to leave 2 hours. My schedule just doesn’t allow for it! And I was much more tired than usual and went to sleep much earlier than normal. The good news? Only one day left! The bad news? I REALLY missed the act of eating. I missed food. I missed the texture of food.

Day 3

I woke up feeling great. I popped open a green juice and was surprised to find that they tasted much better to me. I was finally getting used to them! I had the second juice midmorning and the third in the afternoon. Once again, I was shocked to find that I just wasn’t hungry. No hunger pangs. No rumbling. No growling.

I did, however, miss chewing. Desperately. I started missing chewing on Monday evening. On Tuesday I craved chewing. On Wednesday, Day 3, I started chewing my own teeth. Speaking of teeth — not chewing makes your teeth get a little… out of touch. A bit fuzzy, if you will. I didn’t find that so irritating. But I felt the thick fuzzy feeling much more on my tongue. My tongue craved food and was rebelling!

Not a huge deal. I knew I only had one day left. BPC did email me a list of “cheat” foods, but I wasn’t caving. I was committed to this cleanse and eager to see and feel my true results. I started my spicy lemonade after an evening appointment and by the time I got home I finished about 2/3 of it.

Again, it was late. And again, I didn’t have time or care to finish the lemonade and drink an entire green juice before my cashew milk. I went straight for the cashew milk. I skipped some of juice 4 and all of juice 5. That left a total of 7 BPC drinks untouched and another 2 unfinished. I went into this thinking I would be so starving I would down all 6 juices and want more, but they were so filling I really couldn’t get through 6 in a day! I am a little disappointed that I didn’t take full advantage of the spicy lemonade’s benefits. Oh, well — there’s always a next time!

The Cashew milk was wonderful once again. I had some work to do so I downed it while working and it was the perfect treat. And then it was time for bed! For the third night in a row, I went to sleep tired and not at all hungry. I completed the Blueprint Cleanse!

Post Cleanse

First things first: onto the scale I went. I lost 5 pounds in the last 3 days. Amazing. I know it will come right back once I eat a meal. Honestly, if it means even one day of fitting comfortably into my clothes, I’ll take it.

Speaking of, I haven’t yet eaten a meal. BPC strongly advises you to ease back into eating. For one, it will be a shock to your system and you might feel sick if you gobble up food right away. And another important reason is that I spent the last three days cleaning out my bloodstream. If I were to eat a full meal, it would absorb quickly into my bloodstream, negating all my work over the last three days. The best way to come off the cleanse is to slowly ease in. Which means…. I had green juice for breakfast! But green juice that I LIKE. Makes a big difference.  🙂

And I went to Core Fusion this morning. The class was challening — I was sweaty — and amazing. My legs were shaking like crazy during the thigh work which distracted me. I know it just means I am weak, but I really wish it wouldn’t get in the way of my workout! It felt great to take the CF class coming off the cleanse with no food in me. My workout felt efficient and productive.

Blueprint Cleanse Takeaways

Okay, I finished the cleanse, I lost 5 lbs, I feel thin and light and GI-problem-free. Now what?

I was advised by someone knowledgeable  that this is the time for me to make things better for myself to avoid having surgery. Green juice breakfast and possibly lunch, cooked veggies (you heard me right) for dinner, as well as a blended vegetable soup. Animal proteins will hinder the process and put me back to feeling awful. Chances are I would begin to slowly feel better and my problems might fade. And the best time to start eating this way and take control of my life? Right after finishing a 3 day juice cleanse.

And hey, I’ve tried everything else, what have I got to lose?

Except this: my life. I love food. I love eating. I love sweets. I love sushi. I love buffets and french toast and eggs and chocolate and tacos and Holey Donuts. I love going to restaurants. I love ordering in. I love tasting everything, eating nothing and having it all, just not at once.

Would I be willing to try this recommendation out? Absolutely. I was committed to doing it now, but one thing got in the way… my spa resport weekend tomorrow through Sunday. There will be breakfast and lunch buffets. I know me. There is no fooling myself. I will see all my favorite foods and will eat what I want. There is no green juice at hotel for breakfast. Or lunch. And dinner is a four course meal. And Monday is the boy’s birthday and we are going out to eat. Come on!

So now is not the time for me. And you know what? I  don’t know if there ever will be a real time. Sure, I can try this out for a week or so and maybe I will feel better. Do I owe it to myself to try? Yes. But, even if I feel better…. that is just not a way I can imagine living my life. Depriving myself of the foods I love. Needed a “special meal” at family events. And I am weak when it comes to food anyway (read: free cake at work), so even if my intentions are 100% there, I don’t honestly believe I can avoid the temptation. I know me. And I love food. Can I can live on green juice and veggies? Sure. But do I want to live that way? No. I want to eat what I want (in moderation) and enjoy myself without depriving myself.

That said, if it wasn’t for my upcoming big weekend, I probably would have given it a shot now just to see. Although it is summer and I love me some frozen yogurt. At least now I know I can handle drinking juice and eating nothing for three days. I can do it again if I so choose. I would most likely go with a different company next time just because I really did not like this green juice! Unless I get a great discount at BPC, which I’ve heard people get sometimes. I also heard they recently changed their green juice recipe, which probably explains why in the past people were overempowered by celery and I was not at all! Perhaps made it more palatable for people not used to green juice. I probably would have preferred the old version.

When all is said and done, I am very happy I did the 3 day Blueprint Cleanse – Excavation level. I learned more about my body and I know how to avoid pain and discomfort if I need to. I can always do a one day juce fast if I am feeling particularly bad, and I am sure it will help. And although I didn’t get the most nutrition and benefits out of the juices as possible since I skipped a bunch, it was wonderful not feeling hungry for three days and I did get more nutrition than usual. I also learned that I don’t NEED to eat breakfast at 9 and lunch at 12 on the dot. I can decide when I want to eat and not worry about the clock and whether it is “time” to eat. I am way too focused on that clock to determine when I eat my meals. The clock ceases to exist during the cleanse. You drink when you’re hungry, at any pace you want. No gobbling quickly like when I eat. If I wasn’t hungry, I didn’t drink. The Blueprint Cleanse showed me what intuitive eating (drinking?) is really about. It forced me  to truly practice it — and understand it.

I would recommend this to anyone looking to jumpstart a healthy diet, shed a couple pounds for an event, learn more about their own bodies or detox for whatever reason.

And most importantly, the Blueprint Cleanse showed me that I can lead a life without getting surgery. It showed me that I can feel well. I might not always want to drink juice and not eat, but there is an option out there. If I have surgery, who knows what foods I will or won’t be able to eat? A juice fast every now and then might be JUST what my body needs — and will allow me to avoid having major surgery.

Of course, I still have much more thinking and trial-and-error to do. But these are my thoughts right now. No need to rush into anything. And I still want that taco.

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Unrelated Update: Remember my horrific experience at Blow?  And how I called and all they did was offer me a free manicure if I pay for another blowout? Well I emailed the owners. They responded and offered me a FREE blowout and manicure with a proper stylist who will meet my needs! I will be heading back there at some point (next time I have to go somewhere nice) and I am sure my experience will be much better.

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