That’s just a word the boy invented. It can mean everything and nothing; anything and all things. Right now, it perfectly describes my mood. Bushplurpie.

I feel bad that I haven’t been at the blog since Tuesday, but then I remember that I wrote a lot more than usual (these days) last week and I feel a bit better. So I’ll give you some updates and maybe then you will understand why I am feeling so bushplurpied.

Yes, my stomach felt better while fasting for a week with Organic Avenue. No, the bliss did not last. Once I started eating food again, the pain and discomfort came back so quickly I had to wonder if it was ever gone. Of course, it was gone, but it is now back as if last week never happened. I also went to see the surgeon this week. After spending a long time discussing my situation and options with him and putting a lot of thought into my situation and what he told me, I am heavily leaning towards having surgery. In fact, once I said those words out loud I knew it is the right thing for me. I felt relief once I accepted something I was previously unwilling to accept, so sure was I that surgery was not something I was willing to do.

After all, what if the newest medicine comes out that is the answer to all my problems?

However, now I learned that such a medication is not even in the pipeline. In fact, the only approved medicine for my condition (which I have tried multiple times for months) was recently taken OFF the market — for not working and for causing terrible side effects. And while I have been trying more non-traditional techniques lately, nothing seems to be helping much; although some things do help me get through the week and make major improvements on my day to day life, they are too expensive and time consuming to keep up with for the rest of my life. It just isn’t possible — and I still don’t even feel so great anyway with them.

I didn’t make any definite decisions yet. A few things have to happen first:

• The surgeon has to receive and then review various x-ray films from 4 different hospitals/offices — once he does this, he will call me and tell me if he still thinks surgery is my best answer. I have a strong feeling he will.
• Visit two new gastroenterologists for 6th and 7th opinions — one is in NY and one is in Boston, which will require some travel. If they both agree . . .

Then and only then will I say for sure I am going to have surgery and start figuring out the best time for me to do this. I used to think the idea of this surgery was crazy, but after talking to the surgeon and thinking about what the rest of my life would be like if I didn’t — what a pregnancy in my future would be like — I just know this is something that might really help me. And right now, nothing else is.

And. The surgeon told me that after the surgery, once I recover . . . I will be able to eat ANYTHING I WANT. That’s right — anything. Even oatmeal (oh how I miss thee). Even salad. Even Ezekiel bread. Even Larabars.

All the foods I love and miss. I used to eat oatmeal every day and then when my illness started that was one of the first things that I realized had to go. And then I started reading blogs and seeing just how incredible oatmeal can be. And I have yet to try one of these amazing creations. I really, really want to. I want to be able to eat whatever looks good, whatever is healthy, without saying “I can’t eat this because of my stomach.” I miss brown rice and whole grains. I miss salads for lunch. I despise having to order sandwiches “without lettuce” or “without sprouts.”

And I touched upon pregnancy before. Without getting into too much detail, if I were to become pregnant (NOT happening yet, I promise!) it could cause a lot of problems for me the way my body is right now. After surgery, however, it shouldn’t cause any. The doctor thinks there is a 95% chance I will feel completely better after surgery. He also thinks it is my only chance at improving my quality of life. Of course, this still has to be confirmed once he reviews my x-rays.

Anyway, these are my thoughts. They are out there. I was considering not mentioning this until I decided for sure, but I like hearing your thoughts and I like putting this in writing so I can one day look back and have my entire thought process written out. I also hope to turn my medical experience into a longer writing piece at some point, and I really don’t see myself writing this all out just to save on my computer. If I take this time to write, I like it to have a purpose and be read.

Feel free to email me if you want to know more about my condition and the surgery.

Speaking of eating foods, even though my stomach has a tough time with any vegetables, even cooked, I have been eating cooked veggies more often. Even though I don’t feel so well after, vegetables are seriously the only food I crave these days. Especially now that I made the decision to be a vegetarian — a decision I smile every time I think about. I am just so happy I acknowledged something that had been bothering me and I feel such relief after announcing it on the blog. So I need to eat something, right? And that something has been veggies. Lots of veggies. With some pain on the side. Seriously, every time I eat a vegetable based meal, I feel extreme discomfort, fullness (for a small amount of food) and pain after. But come time for my next meal, vegetables are all I want to eat. And then I feel awful. And the seasons, they go round and round and the painted ponies go up and down. And so on.

I could eat vegetables without pain once I have surgery. I want that.

Just some quick photos of some veggieful meals:

Blended salad (NOT vomit):

That was raw, and very hard on my stomach. I was testing this out the day after the fast ended to see how I did. This contained red pepper, tomato, avocado and mixed organic baby greens. The next day I made a steamed version that included butternut squash and no tomato and was slightly easier to tolerate. Uncomfortable yet delicious.

My new favorite creation: Eggplant and cashews roasted in EV coconut oil (EVCO?):

And my favorite dessert ever, Gena’s banana soft serve. I have been making this almost every day. Perfect dessert. I plan to mke her almond milk soon and blend it in here as well. It tastes extra good with crumbled up things, such as the Back to Nature Honey Graham Sticks the boy bought, or the crumbs at the bottom of his Cascadian Farms Oats and Honey Granola cereal. I also added some soaked cashews one night and it was amazing. But it is also perfect plain.

Punky Brewster enjoyed it too.

Before my writing class on Wednesday I stopped at Organic Avenue, my weekly pre-writing class dinner destination for the upcoming weeks. I love their food! Although by the time I get there, they don’t have much left. I was sad that there were no mint chip smoothies. The good news is that I can call ahead and tell them what to hold aside for me, which I will definitely do next time!

This week, I got a really great pesto “pasta” (spiralized vegetables), the most incredible chocolate mousse (this is the real stuff kids, no added sugars — and it tasted better than any I have had, with no chemically after taste. Everyone in my writing class was jealous) and a Green Mylk for the next day — I believe it was spinach, celery, cucumber (?), almond mylk and cinnamon. And it was pure heaven. Best green juice ever, obviously. I want that every week too. The problem with wanting all this great stuff every week is the cost. And it is not cheap. But, you get what you pay for and one time a week I pay for the good stuff. Wish I could have it more.

Since this is a bushplurpied mish mosh of a post, I want to also note that I ran 5 miles last Sunday in gorgeous but cool weather and I felt amazing! My knee did start hurting at the very end and the pain got bad, but I iced as soon as I got home and all was good. But I know now that I CAN run 5 miles! I am very excited for my 5 mile race on October 25. I have another 5 mile training run scheduled for Sunday but the forecast isn’t looking so good. The weather here has been so awful that I even used the treadmill already for  2 mile run. I wanted to cry from the boredom. And I might have to do 5 treadmiles on Sunday. Aaahh. Maybe my attitude about it will be better by then. And I just got my new Zensah compression leg sleeves today. I am excited to try them out and review them for you after reading such great things about them. Photo below from Zensah.com. Mine are beige.

In other eksusis news, I love having a rebounder! Thursday night is a big TV night as you probably know, and I watched the entire episode of Community and half of Parks & Recreation while rebounding! It was so easy and perfect; I felt so much better about watching TV than I would have if I was sprawled out on the couch. I did a bunch of moves I learned in all the rebounding classes I used to take plus some others that I made up. I also picked up my 2 lb weights and did some arm moves that wouldn’t bother my shoulder. I never do arms on my own, so the trampoline is a good way to get them in! I was thinking I’d have the boy take a picture of me on it so I can show you all. Mine looks like this, but I don’t keep the arm thing on it:

I do plan to start going to Core Fusion regularly after my 5 mile race is over. My schedule lately has been so packed that I usually don’t have time to go, and when I do have time I get worried about hurting my knee before the race. So I decided to just not worry about it and start to go more often after the race — especially since my running outdoors days are almost over and I will need to move my workouts indoors. Core Fusion is perfect for that — and I just so happen to have 25 classes I need to use up!

Camera help needed! I must have done something to my Canon settings. When I take photos of food on macro they come out great. But when I try to take a picture of anything else, especially people, it is ALWAYS blurry. That switch on top that moves it from 3 modes — video, and 2 others. I think the 2 others are wrong. Can anyone help?? What should it be defaulted on?

And these, my friends, are all the reasons I feel so much bushplurpie. Thanks for listening to me through this long winded post. Now enjoy Michael Pollan’s awesome compilation of food rules. Can this man do any wrong?

Edited to add: Also read this – The 18 Worst Packaged Food Lies

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