Archive of ‘Funny’ category

He’s a ghost, and he writes to us. Plus, DVD HELP NEEDED!

Hello khavers (that means friends in Yiddish)! I hope you all had a joyous and relaxing Henry Day yesterday. I know I did!

Scary smile spin girl
Last week I was in spin class and I glanced over to the girl on the left of me. She was smiling, and it looked like she was sharing a joke with someone on the other side of the room. I assumed she had a friend spinning on the other side and thought nothing of it.

A little later into the class I happened to glance over again. She still had the smile on. It was a huge smile. I looked over at the other side of the room and no one was smiling back at her, much less looking at her. Weird.

I looked away but found myself being pulled to look at her again. Still the huge smile — and I mean HUGE smile, as if she was posing for a picture or found something that made her very happy. I kept looking at her. The smile did not leave her face.

Big smile

It was creepy. Really creepy. I looked away, but then looked back again. STILL SMILING. A really big, wide smile. While spinning. Very creepy. I was disturbed and distracted from the class. I couldn’t stop checking to see if this girl would ever stop smiling.

What  kind of strange people have you encountered at the gym?

Yogurt news
Oikos sent me a bunch of coupons for free yogurts so I can try them out and review them here! A big thank you to them! According to the website:

Oikos Organic Greek Yogurt has 0% fat, just 90 calories per 5.3 oz.-serving, twice the protein of regular yogurt, and fewer carbohydrates. Because it’s organic, our yogurt is also better for the earth. And we think it’s better for you, too.

I am very excited to try these and let you know what I think — but I probably won’t get a chance to for a little while because there was a sale on Chobani at Jubilee yesterday and I bought every single Vanilla they had at the price of $1.50 a pop. So I need to eat them all before they expire (some on 4/3 and some on 4/13). I will be sure to blog all about Oikos as soon as I have one and let you know what I think!

**DVD PLAYER HELP NEEDED** – UPDATE: NEVERMIND

I went to my mom’s over the weekend and we were very busy on Saturday, so I had no time to start my 30 Day Shred challenge, so Sunday was my first day. I used my 2 lb weights. After a warmup, I was not happy to see that the first eskusize was push ups. I HATE push ups. As much as I hate the rowing machine! I did the modified girl push ups, of course, and before I even had a chance to get really annoyed with it, that part was over! Wow!

I loved this workout because it was all like that. You don’t have enough time to get sick of any one exercise because it switches to the next one so quickly. That is my kind of workout!

I will admit I was a bit lazy with the push ups I did do, but I plan to work harder the next time. The rest of the exercises were great and I really enjoyed it — especially the fact that the 20 minutes goes quickly and it got me to do strength training and abs work that I would just never do on my own. Today, my calves, the insides of my arms and my tushie are sore. It’s working!

So when I got to the boy’s, I was ready to set up my DVD player so I could do day 2 this morning. But then I saw a bunch of cords going from his TV to his cable box. I had no idea which ones to remove from the cable box and put in the DVD player! In my apartment there are only 3 cords, so it was easy. I tried some trial and error but got discouraged and wanted to go to sleep. Tonight I plan to play around with it some more, but I would love if anyone out there on the webnets can help me:

How do I hook up a DVD player to an already-connected TV and cable box??? Update: I strongly suspect it is the yellow cord. Testing will commence.

Also, I can’t find my DVD remote! I hope I don’t need it for this. Anyway, I REALLY appreciate any advice you can give me here so I can move on with my 30 day challenge! Please help!

In opposite-of-shredding news, look what exists!

Pumpkin Cheesecake ice cream

Pumpkin Cheesecake ice cream! I took a picture on my phone at the grocery store so I could show my friend since I know she would love it as much as I do. I didn’t get it. But I am glad I know it exists. Maybe one day…

The next vegetable I will try
Butternut squash! I bought this in two forms: organic in a can, and a whole squash. It is large. The can will be good for at work and I will attempt to cook up the actual squash. I’ll update you on my progress!

Butternut Squash

Nicole
Now that you all know more about my doll Nicole, I just wanted to give you some insight into our relationship. Please keep in mind that I will be 26 in a couple weeks and I am discussing my relationship with my doll.

– In college, we would occasionally have fire drills in the dorms. I would always take Nicole with me during these fire drills in case it was a real fire.

– If I bring her on a plane (this hasn’t happened in a very long time) she stays with me; I will never check her in case my luggage gets lost.

– One time in college, my boyfriend at the time and I were driving home for the month-long winter break, when I realized an hour into the (3 hour) ride, as my heart dropped suddenly, that I left Nicole in my room. I made him turn around and drive back to school so I could get her.

– When I discovered my apartment was broken into and basically broke down and went into a hysterical state, I held Nicole tight in my arms as I called 911, as the policemen came over and questioned me about the break in, as the locksmiths came to change the locks. Nicole did not leave my arms this entire time.

– I was friends with a photographer who came over and took a beautiful picture of me and Nicole. I have a prin tout of it, I need to get that onto the computer so I can show you.

Yes, I am almost 26 years old.

In other child-like news, thank you to reader Becky who told me of the existence of this blog, http://claudiasroom.blogspot.com/. I haven’t had a chance to really read through it yet, but from what I understand it is someone who decided to read back on all her old BSC books and write about them. Brilliant. Wish I thought of this myself. I can’t wait to get reading on these recaps and relive some good old times.

Another thing I got very into when I was younger with Ghostwriter. My brother and I LOVED this show. We would sit in front of the TV with our own detective notebooks to try and solve the cases. We took it very seriously and planned our strategies for the show and the cases all week. The episodes were really interesting and cool. The one thing that bothered me was how SLOW they wrote. Omg. That was torture, watching them write in their notebooks as slow as humanely possible, in very careful, clear handwriting. They also typed extremely slowly too! What the hell.

Please click here for a hilarious webcomic about Julia Stiles’ stint as a hacker on Ghostwriter.

Ghostwriter

He’s a ghost, and he writes to us – Ghostwriter!

Who else loved Ghostwriter?

Lots going on! 30 Day Shred, Hypnotherapy, Puppy Answers & More

I have been MIA this week, but I’ve been mucho busies (that means very busy in the language my brother and I created — our language is actually quite brilliant. more on that another time). So, here are some updates in the life that is mine:

(1) I’ve joined Caitlin — and about 40 other bloggers and readers — on her 30 Day Shred Challenge! I don’t plan to do this every single day like Caitlin does, but I would like to aim for 4 days a week. I spent a lot of time debating whether to get 2 lb or 3 lb hand weights. I am a very weak person. No strength at all — which of course is why I am doing the challenge in the first place. The boy settled my internal debate by definitively telling me to get 2 lb weights. So I will head to Modell’s to pick up some 2 lb weights and a mat.

30 Day Shred

I brought my DVD player to the boy’s since he doesn’t have one and I don’t have floor space in my own apartment. I need to figure out how to hook it up to his TV.

I plan to begin the challenge this weekend. I am nervous because I tend to not do eksusize that hurts. I also have a short attention span when it comes to videos, but I read so many positive things about the 30 Day Shred that I am willing to give it a shot. Let’s see if I actually stick with it… I figure if I write about it here I will feel more pressure to! A big thank you to Caitlin for keeping us all motivated with the Shredder Support Newsletter! It definitely helps my motivation to have a network of people in this with me.

(2) I decided to participate in the hypnotherapy program for GI problems and it begins on Monday, March 30. I am excited — and will be sure to report on it here! It will be every other Monday for 14 weeks. My time slot is 7:15 pm, which means I will have a gap of time between work and therapy. Ideally, I would like to go to the gym during this time and get in a workout. If I don’t, knowing me (and I know me quite well), I will shop and spend money I shouldn’t be spending.

There are some problems with this plan. I will list these problems now, and then I will describe my hopeful solution.

 – I am not allowed to join the gym in the building in which I work for reasons I won’t explain here
 – My gym does not have locations near my work or the psychologist’s office
 – I do not have enough time to get to my own gym, work out and get to the psychologist’s office

Hopeful Solution: I looked into getting free guest passes to a few gyms in the area of the psych’s office, but I think it will be annoying and I don’t like having to learn where things are, having to take a tour and listening to sales talks. I’d rather just find one that I can go to 7 times and be done. There is a pay-as-you-go gym in the city(http://www.monqifitness.com/), but it’s not near this office. There are also spin studios (like SoulCycle where I am finally planning to visit next weekend!), also not near this office.

I do know that NYSC charges a $15 guest pass, and there is one of these a block away from the psych. I need to find out if I would be allowed to do this 7 times, without accompanying a club member. 6 times really, since I have one free guest pass. If so, I will be quite pleased with the arrangement!

(3) Thanks to those who asked to be interviewed! They all gave such fantastic answers, I am so impressed! You can read their wonderful answers here:

 -  Santana, a real puppy 

-  Mallory

-  Sara

(4) The maternity pants arrived and while they feel wonderful on top, I don’t like how the legs look. Returning them. I need to keep looking for pants for work though. On the non-work clothes front, I discovered jeans like this and got so excited! If I get just one really good pair of maternity jeans, maybe I can be a semi-social human being again! Maybe I can actually make plans to go somewhere knowing I have something I can wear. Maybe when the day of an event comes up I won’t be feeling stressed and anxious about getting dressed. Maybe I can go out to a meal. Maybe I can not wear sweats at times I feel like they seem inappropriate. Maybe maybe maybe.

I went to Bloomingdale’s to try some on, since I saw a bunch on their website. When I got there, I was informed that they don’t sell them in the store because, and I quote, “Pregnant people only like to buy their clothes online.” Uhhhh… really, Bloomindales customer service associate who works on the main floor of the flagship location? Because I don’t know if you’ve ever purchased, um, jeans before. But you kinda need to try them on. There are countless styles, as you can see  from the Nordtrom’s link above, in addition to varying sizes that change from brand to brand and style to style.

The always amazing Sara told me about a store in her hood where she’s seen the type of clothes I’d want: Belly Dance Maternity. I think I will need to take a little detour to this area one day in the not-too-distant future. I am dying to try on some maternity jeans to fit my bloated belly! This all sounds so ridiculous when I read back on it — my quest for pregnancy clothes. But I am intrigured – and it could be something really great for me.

(5) I am very excited about the upcoming NYC Blogger Meetups! I will be attending both the dinner on the 14th and the brunch on the 22nd — the menus for both places look wonderful. Of course I will recount my experiences on here after. Thanks again to Melissa for organizing these!

(6) I have been bad. I haven’t moved on to the next vegetable on my list. I will this weekend and report back next week. Pinky swear.

Pinky Swear

Speaking of pinky swear, I have crooked pinkies. The rest of my fingers are normal. I actually have pretty nice hands. Except for my deviant pinkies. I apologize for my ugly nails. I have been talking about getting a manicure for about 3 months now. Maybe this weekend I will actually do it!

pinky

(7) I don’t know if I will get to make the Maple Glazed Pumpkin French Toast this weekend after all. Things got busy! Sads.

(8) I plan to write a post at some point devoted to the language my brother and I have with each other. Maybe even write an entire entry in this language. It is crazies!! Until then I will include a sprinkle of it here and there.

(9) Simba has been out of control.  The hyena laughing has been intense. Last week there was a day with a lot of snow, so the office was empty. As I’ve mentioned, these are the days Simba is at his absolute worst. The howling, the strange sounds, the screaming, the repitition on that day were unbearable. Of course, he is out of control and irritating and incites anger and hatred in me every day.

How does no one reprimand him???

***Random memory alert! Random memory alert!***
Mallory baked me banana bread for my birthday 2 years ago. I went to the post office to pick up the box, and had the box opened and the bread in my mouth before I even got to my apartment. People on the street must have thought it was SO strange to see a girl shoving bread into her mouth from a shipping box.

(10) I love my doll Nicole. I thought it would be fun to find another of her, from 1985, and get it. I searched the internets far and wide. I emailed Playmates, the company that produced her. I begged them to search their warehouse for a doll from 1985 who wears a blue dress, has blue eyes and cries when you shake her. No such luck. My Nicole stopped crying many years ago, after being shaken roughly by my two older, male cousins.

Finally, I thought I found the closest thing to her on eBay — her black counterpart! The description said she cries when shook (uhh I don’t think ANY doll company could get away with that feature these days), I recognized the hair (drawn on lines in a very particular pattern) in the photograph, she was born the same year, same brand — it’s her!

So I ordered it! I was in class (grad school - I was, like, 22 when this happened) when she arrived and my brother sent me a hilarious text saying that the doll is not quite what we imagined. I asked him what he means…. and he sent me this picture.

Nicoles

She is a giant! What is funny is that they were definitely from the same batch. Their similarities are apparent. They have a lot of the same features and structure — but why is the new one so big!

Poor new doll remains abandoned in my old bedroom at my mom’s. I adopted her and because she wasn’t what I expected, I abandoned her.

Have a great weekend, all! AND a very Happy Henry Day this Sunday!

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